The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

Synopsis: The fantastic tale of an 18th century aristocrat, his talented henchmen and a little girl in their efforts to save a town from defeat by the Turks. Being swallowed by a giant sea-monster, a trip to the moon, a dance with Venus and an escape from the Grim Reaper are only some of the improbable adventures.
Director(s): Terry Gilliam
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
  Nominated for 4 Oscars. Another 11 wins & 10 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
126 min

Help me.

And so, as the sun rose...

over the island of Cheese...

casting long shadows

through the sausage bushes...

illuminating the tops

of the honey trees...

and warming the fields

of smoked salmon...

I, Baron Munchausen...

who am renowned first and foremost

for telling the truth...

the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

For while it has been

my privilege--

- Tighter! Tighter!

- Hold steady!

How can you become

a great actress like me...

poor darling,

if you get blown to pieces?

- Come on!

- Native land.

Oh, yeah!

There to attempt the education...

of their provincial

and narrow-minded...

and stupidly incredulous

fellow countrymen...

we heaved anchor

and set sail.

We heaved anchor

and set sail!

The waves!

- Oh, bugger!

- We heaved anchor.

- We are actors!

- And set sail.

Where the devil

are the stagehands?

- Dead!

- They can't all have been killed!

Not killed, ducky.


Nothing to do

with your acting.

We heaved anchor--

But ill luck pursued me...

and I was blown towards

the waiting jaws...

of a whale of such prodigious size

and length...

that I could not,

even with a telescope...

see the end of him.

What will become

of the baron

Surely this time

there is no escape

What will become

of the baron

Surely this time there

Is no escape

I have learned

from experience...

that a modicum of snuff...

can be most efficacious.

Hells bells...

and buckets of blood!

Where were the waves?

The waves!

You've stabbed my vitals!

- You incompetent imbecile!

- It wasn't me!

It was her!

It wasn't me!

It was him! You big pintle!

We are supposed

to be professionals!

And we're trying

to stay alive!

- Sally!

- All right.

Now stay in here

or I shall lock you up.

- Where's my brother?

- What?

You haven't got a brother.

Then you just tell me why it says,

"Henry Salt and Son."

- I'm your daughter.

- I shouldn't have taught you to read.

"And Son" is traditional.

That's the way it's supposed to be.

No. The sultan's demands

are still not sufficiently rational.

The only lasting peace is one based

on reason and scientific principle.

I'm terribly sorry,

Mr. Jackson.

The first act didn't go

quite as we would have liked.

One or two little

technical problems.

Oh, please don't apologize, Mr. Salt.

I'm sure you're doing your best...

in very trying circumstances.

- Your attention.

- Hmm? Ah, excuse me.

The officer

who risked his life...

by single-handedly destroying

six enemy cannon...

and rescuing ten of our men

held captive by the Turk.

Yes, sir.

- The officer we've heard so much about.

- I suppose so, sir.

Always taking risks

far beyond the call of duty.

I only did my best, sir.

Have him executed at once.

- Yes, sir.

- Come along.

This sort of behavior is demoralizing

for ordinary soldiers and citizens...

who are trying to lead normal,

simple, unexceptional lives.

Things are difficult as it is without

emotional people rocking the boat.


The court of the grand Turk.

What a surprise...

that a passing zephyr

should waft me here.

Perhaps fate wishes me...

to teach the sultan

a lesson or two.

His highness the sultan

loved a good wine...

and could never

resist a wager.


that were to cost him dear.


Those scoundrels!

I won't put up with it!

It's intolerable!

Stop this travesty!

Stop it!

It's an insult!

An indignity!

I've never seen so much rubbish

in all my life!

You don't know

what you're talking about!

One day,

after a sumptuous dinner--

- Is this supposed to happen?

- The sultan bade me to accompany him..

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Charles McKeown

Charles McKeown ( mə-KEW-ən; born 1946) is a British actor and writer, perhaps best known for his collaborations with Terry Gilliam. The two met while shooting Monty Python's Life of Brian, while McKeown was doing bit parts in the film. more…

All Charles McKeown scripts | Charles McKeown Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 Jan. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.