The Adventures of Baron Munchausen Page #2

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Your reality, sir,

is lies and balderdash...

and I'm delighted to say

that I have no grasp of it whatsoever!

This man obviously

needs a doctor.

A doctor?

We will continue

with the show.

Thank you very much,

Your Ordinaryness. Off!

Please be reasonable.

If we don't get on with it,

he'll throw us to the Turks

I'll get on with it!

Show them how it should be!

My lords...

ladies and gentlemen...

Baron Munchausen,

at your service.

Pruned any noses recently?

- Give us a song!

- No. Please.

Most of you won't remember me

or my adventures...

but I assure you...

they are true.

The truth is...

I am the cause of this siege.

- Don't be stupid!

- What about the Turks then?

You're the cause

of the border dispute, are you?

What? It's the sea routes

we're fighting for!

No, it isn't!

That was last time!

You poor deluded fools!

If you'll only

do me the courtesy...

of accepting the word

of a gentleman...

I will reveal the true cause...

of this war.

After my--

Oh, dear.

After my return from Egypt...

I was most warmly welcomed...

by the grand Turk...

his highness, the sultan...

who knew of my reputation...

and held me in high esteem.

In fact, so delighted

was he with my company...

that he offered me access

to his harem.

- One day...

- Go on!

the sultan brought me a bottle

of his favorite Tokay.

What do you think of that, eh?

Not bad.

Not bad?

My dear Munchausen...

it's impossible

to find better.

Humbug, Your Majesty.

What do you wager

that I won't procure...

within the hour, a bottle of Tokay

far superior to this...

from the imperial cellar

in Vienna...

a mere thousand odd miles away?

Accept my challenge.

If I don't succeed,

you may cut off my head.

These are my stakes.

What are yours?

I accept.

And if you succeed...

you may take as much treasure

as the strongest man can carry.

Agreed. Give me pen and ink, and I

will write to the empress immediately.

Berthold!

Coming!

Oh, blast!

Sorry, chaps.

I've got to go.

Take this to Vienna,

to the empress.

She will give you a bottle of wine.

Bring it straight to me.

Right-o.

Perhaps you would care for a little

light entertainment while you wait.

I have been composing

a short opera.

- Would you like to hear a song or two?

- No, thank you.

Oh, you'll love it.

It's a comedy.

It's called,

"The Torturer's Apprentice."

Here's the overture.

The curtain--

The curtain rises on a typical

everyday torture chamber.

Yosrick, the young apprentice,

sings of his joy in his job.

A torturer's apprentice

went his merry way to work one day

I bend and stretch and ply my trade

Making people all afraid

But things look black

Business is slack

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