Table 19 Page #3

So when I find that something

doesn't add up, I investigate.

Can't help being a detective,

it's just who I am.

And you want to know what rank on

the force my husband has attained?

He manages a diner in Columbus, Ohio.

That rank.

Fill us in anyway, would you,

on how exactly

the bride's best friend

ended up back here

with the Klumps.

Oldest friend.

Leave it alone.

No, that's fine.

It's not, it's...

It's no mystery,

it's not a big deal.

I got dumped

by Francie's brother,

Teddy Millner, the best man.

That tall drink of sh*t

over there at table one

you can barely see.

God, look at him.

That guy is exactly

who you think he'd be.

Yeah, just a selfish jerk.

Which I somehow didn't see

until two months ago

when he dumped me out of the blue.

Then I saw.

So I dropped out

as maid of honor

because it was awkward

and I RSVP'd "No."

Well, "Yes" and then "No."

And then I thought,

this is about Francie,

it's her day,

and I won't let her brother

scare me away from that.

I'm glad I came.

I'm fine.

I feel nothing, actually.

I'm, like...

I feel liberated.

I feel free.

God. You have no idea

what that feels like.

Someday.

I mean, I am free.

I do, I mean,

I'm a free man,

I do know how it feels.

Right. Great.

Well, then, you know.

It feels great.

I don't have to think

about him anymore.

Talk to him, or...

Excuse me.

All right. Our newlyweds waif!

Be joining us

for their first dance soon.

Okay, what's going on, man?

Meanwhile, enjoy the open bar.

Come on, what does that mean?

What does that mean?

It means you leave me

a voicemail

telling me to tell Francie

not to open your RSVP card.

Then you leave me a voicemail

telling me that you're coming

and then another one saying

"Disregard the last one."

So that's what I mean,

what are you doing here?

You listened to

all those voicemails?

Hey, guys, right here.

Come on, El,

please don't go all crazy.

"All crazy"?

Now what does that mean?

It means you get mad.

You do something big

and you can't take it back

and it's too late, and then...

Crazy.

I do that?

I do that?

I'm not your mom,

so, I don't do that.

I think it's funny, mostly.

But not today.

Nikki will murder me...

All right, all right.

Nikki can calm down.

What is the deal with Nikki?

Really?

Wow. "What's the deal

with Nikki?" That's funny.

Why would you care about Nikki if

you're just here for my sister?

You're right.

Yeah.

You're right.

It's none of my business

if you cheated on me with her.

What?

Why should it even bother me?

Come on! I didn't

cheat on you with her.

It started after we broke up

and you dropped out

as maid of honor.

How does a guy who...

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