Super Troopers 2 Page #5

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(ALL CHEERING)

Easy, you hooligans!

I'm a senior citizen!

And if this two-week

assignment goes well,

I might be able

to make it permanent.

Trust us. It'll go well.

And who are you?

Oh, I'm one of the cops.

We picked him up

outside of Home Depot.

Fantastic.

You'll be phasing out

a Canadian Mountie unit.

We lined up a meet and greet

with them tomorrow.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Oh, yeah!

I wanted to make sure you had

your full team back,

so I tracked down

your other guy too.

(SIGHS) No f***ing way.

- (DOOR OPENS)

- Oh, no.

Sorry I'm late.

Hit a moose doing 90.

- Vaporized the beyotch!

- (O'HAGAN SIGHS)

FARVA:
You know they have

Eskimo hookers up here?

When they have sex,

they really get "Inuit".

(LAUGHS) Pel!

(GROANS)

MAC:

God damn it.

Farva, you f***.

Back in business!

- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

- (TRIMMER WHIRRING)

Bullshit! Who ordered these?

I can't feel my tits!

(ALL LAUGHS)

Hey!

Desk buddies, guy?

Are you positive

you want to quit your old job?

I mean,

Construction Supervisor.

And give up the chance

to crack some Canuck melons?

I don't think so, bro-haim.

Welcome to the Fart Zone

- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

- FOSTER:
Body armor, check.

Tactical flashlights. Why not?

Ooh, heat vision goggles.

Check.

Why would we need those?

Uh, we're in Canada now,

Rabbit.

What if we have to find

somebody in the snow?

Uh, there is snow in Vermont.

Okay,

I'm the "order stuff" guy.

You do your thing. All right?

Okay.

One yellow safety vest

for Rabbit.

Woo! A roving

GPS triangulator.

Triangulator? Get a load

of James Bond over here.

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

Another yellow safety vest

for Thorny.

FARVA:
Thorn, Thorn, Thorn,

Thorn, Thorn, Thorn.

Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod.

You're out, he's in.

Okay.

O'HAGAN:

Hey, place looks great!

MAC:
What have you

been cleaning, Cap?

I'll clean your clock

if you don't watch out.

Okay, let's get started.

Don't push it, Mac.

Get started

doing some pullovers?

No, we're not doing

your pullovers.

Everything will be

by the book.

Everything!

Cap, you know how hard

I worked on this thing?

Big face, big mustache.

I don't care how big

your face is. Shave it!

FARVA:

Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap!

I'm good, right?

I got a tight mouth-muff.

(EXHALES)

- Talk about big faces.

- That's face-ism, Cap.

Not regulation! Shave it!

Right! Let's go

and see some Mounties.

(CHUCKLES) Remember the three

B's:
Best Behavior, Boys.

Hey.

- How's it going?

- Feels like 1983 in here.

(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)

Oh, there they are.

I am Mayor Guy LeFranc.

Mayor of Saint Georges

du Laurent, Canada!

Or, as it's about to be known:

St. George of Lawrence,

America. (CHUCKLES)

I don't know. I'm not so good

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