Stealing Harvard Page #4

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I've ever seen you do.

Look, I provide a public service, John.

One way or another,

they were gonna get drunk.

Maybe they would have

drank mouthwash or sniffed glue...

...but, you know, they wanted beer.

Those are good, honest kids.

They deliver newspapers,

return old pop bottles all week...

They deserve to unwind and get drunk.

It's all part of the American dream.

Your American dream

just gave you the finger.

It's their freedom.

Jesus, Duff!

Here are your briefs, Walter.

Hi, John.

- Hi, Mrs. Duffy.

- How are your folks, John?

Dead. Still.

I forgot. I'm so sorry. I'm on

medication and it makes me loopy.

- Mom!

- Say hi to your folks, John.

You have to forgive her.

She's been going through empty nest

syndrome since I moved out.

Moved out?

You're 20 feet from the house.

Yeah. And I love the freedom.

I could keep these beauties on

as late as I want.

Great.

John...

I have a client.

Lives over

in the Pembroke Hills Estates area.

Guy's loaded. Last week,

I was just finishing up a job...

But I thought I'd do one last round

of the property. You know, details?

Inspection is important to me. Thought

I'd check out the whole interior.

Although I'm an exterior landscaper,

John, I also do interior work.

I was hungry, so I thought

I'd heat up a brick of cheese.

I need my cheese!

But, John,

I heard something upstairs...

...and I thought,

"I should check this out. "

So I went to look around and

I saw this painting on the wall...

...and something didn't seem right

about it.

And I touched it, and it moved.

And behind the painting,

there was this safe.

But I heard someone coming,

so I gracefully slipped out.

But the best part, John,

is the safe...

...it wasn't even locked.

- Nope.

You turn this corner,

and it's the whole slippery slope.

Your whole moral code

goes out the window. No way.

Look. Is it moral to let some fat,

greasy man roll around naked...

...in a pile of cash when

it could be used for something good...

...like sending Noreen to college?

- We can't.

- The guy's never home Sunday nights.

Sunday we go there,

slip through the window...

...which I accidentally left unlocked

today.

And we grab the money.

- The guy won't miss the money?

- Heard of insurance?

Heard of insurance?

It's called insurance.

He's not gonna miss the money.

He's not gonna pay.

The insurance guys

are gonna have to pay.

And they deserve to pay!

Bastards.

Bastards.

Where are you going?

- Why are you here?

- I live here.

- I thought you were going to a movie.

- That was last night.

- We're supposed look at that house.

- I can't. I've gotta go out.

Why are you all dressed in black?

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