Status Update Page #3

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Mmmmm.

Listen, why don't you, tell me,

what I can do...

to make your life...

a little more namaste.

I don't know. I just~

I want things to be different.

Let's fly. Do it with me.

I'm not gonna do that.

Then nothing's gonna change.

Don't be scared. Come on, yeah,

yeah, there you go, fly.

Close your eyes.

Do you know what's below you?

All the haters, and they're

pointing and they're saying,

"Look at that beautiful, blonde bird

with well-conditioned hair."

You know what I'm saying?

That was intense, man.

How do you feel?

- Embarrassed.

- Great, me, too.

I want to show you something.

Take a look at this.

It's my own social media app.

It's called YOUniverse.

When you look at this screen man,

what do you see?

A blank page?

You're cute, but you are so stupid.

This is you, dude.

Not the "you" you are,

the "you" you want to be.

You can be anybody.

You just gotta fill this page,

a new beginning,

you know what I'm saying?

Because when you put positive

vibes out in the YOUniverse...

the YOUniverse listens.

Give me your hand.

Give me your beautiful, soft hand.

Take this... and go... to your destiny.

Thanks.

We're all made of energy,

me and you.

You've gotta be kidding me.

Whatever.

All you gotta do is fill the screen, baby.

- Pants up, hands where I can see 'em.

- What do you want?

I need to borrow your balcony.

My window's painted shut,

- and I need to sneak out.

- Where you goin'?

Xing-fu's taking me to

an Anime and Chill party.

What are you doing tonight?

That's right, nothing!

See ya'!

Good morning. Just warming up the pipes,

don't mind me.

Good morning, Sunshine.

Good morning.

You might want to take a look outside.

Is that my car?

That just showed up on a truck.

Yes! I can't believe it.

That's my car!

Yes, it is, and I can't believe it.

There's no way. Where's Dad?

Probably tanning on a beach somewhere...

and look, you need to get a job,

so you can pay for the gas,

but I will, help you

with the insurance.

Okay. Oh, I knew he'd come through.

Yes!

Yeah, I thought about trying out

for the hockey team,

but, my physician said that

I have the ankle strength,

of a ten-year-old girl.

But you know, multiplayer,

online gaming is my real passion.

It can get pretty physical, too.

Like one time, I passed out

after 17 straight hours of Warcraft.

- Really?

- Yeah, dehydration.

I went to the doctors

and I woke up in the ER.

And then, I met my girlfriend

through League of Legends.

She's a bikini model,

her name's Guadalupe.

Hey, Lonnie, can I ask you something?

Have you ever heard of an app

called YOUniverse?

No, and I'm on everything,

Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest.

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