Staten Island Summer Page #3

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Are you not listening?

It's like a milestone

in their lives.

It's like the moon landing.

But instead of a pole

going into the ground,

it's our d*cks going into them.

Ow!

God, man. Whoa!

Harvard.

The party is officially on.

Whew!

Danny's favorite chicken.

Okay.

Not only do we have access

to all four parks

plus Typhoon Lagoon,

so bring your suit,

but... Drum roll, please.

We got Fastpasses.

Nice.

Remember when you

used to stand up

and recite the entire

Jungle Cruise?

'Cause you had

the whole ride memorized.

And you, you'd put your arm inside

your shirt like the hippo bit it off.

Yeah.

I was terrified one time.

I'm really excited.

It just kind of sucks

that I'm not gonna be here for

my last weekend with Frank.

Mmm.

Well, you know, I mean, Frank...

You two are gonna keep in touch.

Mmm-hmm.

You're gonna make

new friends at Harvard.

You know. And who knows? Maybe

you're gonna meet a couple of

cute ladies. Oh!

Maybe not her, but...

It's just that you and Frank...

Honey, you're just on different paths.

You know?

And again, we love Frank.

Yeah, love him to death.

Hey.

Sorry that took so long.

I got distracted on my phone.

I was playing a new game.

Oh, yeah? What's that, Frank?

Oh!

It's like Whac-A-Mole, but

with penises and glory holes.

And you just,

like, whack the penis

back into the glory hole,

so it doesn't...

Doesn't, you know...

I understand.

How's the Disney planning going?

Oh, my God. Dude, do you

remember that one time

where you did

the entire Jungle Cruise

and everybody laughed at you

because you looked

like a f***ing moron?

All right, you, I'm gonna go shut

that door and open a window.

Maybe knock down a wall.

I just hear the cat kind of

screaming a little bit.

Guys, you gotta check this out.

Look at all these

beautiful women that.

Danny's gonna be

going to college with.

Oh, what is that?

Dog and Elephant Quarterly?

Why do you even have that?

Because I found it.

Look at this girl.

She's a butter everything.

She'd be hot

"but her everything".

Hey, Frank, serious question.

Have you ever seen yourself,

like, in a mirror?

Because actually,

on a Frank scale,

that girl's, like,

a hundred Franks.

And on the Mary Ellen scale,

she's about half a Mary Ellen.

That's a compliment,

what you've just said.

Mine actually was

not a compliment to you.

What's the brochure like

for your parents' basement?

This isn't about me.

This is about Danny

banging someone decent

before he goes off

to Monsters University.

What I don't understand is, why

you need a party to get laid.

Why don't you just go out

and just bang something?

Yeah, you say that because

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