Spice World Page #4

Girl Power.

Feminism.

Do you know what I mean?

Oh, no.

I feel as if

I'm being strangled.

I nearly fell off these shoes

and sprained my ankle.

These are really tight.

They go right up my bum.

- These are really comfy.

- Don't even think about it.

- I'm getting these off.

- I need some platforms.

How can you wear these, Geri?

You look crap

in my clothes anyway.

Yes! I've got

the man for the job.

He did the Fergie

toe-sucking pictures,

he got the Teletubbies

taking a poo,

and he can get Clinton tucking

his T-shirt into his underpants.

Sounds great,

but where the hell is he?

I'm here.

How do we know you're any good?

7.45. You sniffing your socks

before putting them on.

8.55. You in the lift,

picking your nose.

Another bogey breakfast.

He's good.

You again.

Behind the bike sheds

with Eileen when you were 12.

He's very good.

He's gone.

Now hear this.

After using the showers,

could people please pick up

the hair in the plugholes?

It's unhygienic

and can lead to flooding.

Clifford, can't you

just tell us normally?

Next stop - publicity party.

Beautiful people,

reporters, interviews,

lots of finger food. Have fun.

That is all.

- They're here. Don't look.

- I'm not looking.

I hate these parties.

Everyone dresses over the top.

They all ask how you are,

and they don't even care.

I should be at the footie now

and... Do you know him?

Sorry.

- Do you know who I am?

- Who are you?

Piers Cuthbertson Smythe.

I'm with the Spice Girls.

Your name's not down,

you're not coming in.

You said he'd recognise you.

I have to go to all the shows -

Gucci, Pucci, Fendi...

I was very disappointed

with their spring collections.

As for McQueen and Galliano,

I could go either way.

What do you think

about manta rays?

Oh, yes.

Marvellous designer, Manta Ray.

I love Manta Ray.

These are Manta Ray shoes.

These are his glasses.

Bob, we have to sort your hair

out. I'm gonna do your hair.

What's wrong with the hair?

Everybody's going on about it.

We don't want to

threaten a man's masculinity.

- Of course not.

- Or be dominating.

Of course not.

Men sometimes get all nervous

and don't know what to say.

Well, um...things...

I'm gonna go to the toilet.

Hello, Trish!

I've been talking

to a Spice Girl.

I know.

Bob, I think you look great.

What the hell have you done?

- Nicola, Nicola! Remember me?

- Yes. Hi.

We're with her.

We have to get in.

Spare ticket.

We have a ticket.

"And tonight is the night,

"When three become one."

- Thank you.

- He's great, isn't he?

I've got something

important to ask you.

If you don't want

to do it, it's all right.

I was thinking one of you

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