Spice World Page #3

- The girls play five sisters

whose parents disappeared

during the Harrod's sale

and were never seen again.

As if ripped

from today's headlines.

Now they live at home,

struggling to support

a grandmother

who suffers from some

mysterious wasting disease.

I've got tears.

Their only hope lies with

the middle sister, Melanie C,

who's convinced she could be

an Olympic ski-jump champion

if only she could overcome

her fear of heights and snow

and find a pair of skis.

That's amazing.

That's fantastic.

- What do you think?

- It stinks.

Of course it stinks,

but it's a start.

We're cooking here.

This is a stew, a gumbo -

a jambalaya, if you will.

We're just jamming.

OK, here's another idea.

Crocodiles...

If you want tickets

to the Spice Girls' live gig,

you're too late.

But they're with me now...

- Oh, turn it off.

- All right.

What's it like to be Baby Spice?

Do you think I'm always

gonna be seen as Baby Spice,

even when I'm...30.

- You play up to it, Emma.

- No, I don't.

- You're doing it now.

- I am not!

Em, you've got this

dead cute little smile,

so you can get away

with anything.

Ladies and gentlemen....

Four horrible murders...

perpetrated by the same...

ruthless psychopath.

Each victim riddled

with 100 machine-gun bullets.

But who is it?

Professor Schutzman?

Father Conan Murphy?

Lady Matilda Davenport?

Or...

Miss Emma...

Bunton?

The murderer is...

Father Conan Murphy!

I am fed up with people

thinking I talk

about clothes all the time.

People only judge you

on what you look like.

Exactly.

It's the same with fish.

You've got the spotty one

that's wacky,

the fluffy one that's cute,

and this ugly loser one

that reminds me

of my ex-boyfriend Steven.

Did you know the largest fish

in the world is the manta ray?

And there's the ginger one

that is full of useless

information about manta rays.

I don't get it.

Why do people

stereotype us all the time?

We're getting predictable.

Maybe I should stop being loud.

Fat chance.

Hold it there.

Now give it to me.

Why don't we give

each other new characters?

- Like what?

- What about Bricklayer Spice?

- Sexy! Come on, energy!

- Or Trainspotting Spice.

Smashing!

How about Sporty-But-Interested-

In-Other-Things Spice?

Go for it, girls!

Cheesed-Off-With-Cheesy-

Photo-Sessions Spice.

- There you are.

- Thank you!

And again.

Let's go do our own thing.

Come on.

Hello, Mr Bond.

Or can I call you James?

Do you want that

shaken or stirred?

That's it. I'm off. I'm going.

Hup, hup, hup, hup!

I'm so sporty!

My mummy's my best friend.

I'm just too posh.

When are Liverpool gonna

win the cup, like, eh?

Are we finished yet?

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