Spice World Page #2

Wait till you start having kids.

That'd be really weird.

How does my Gloria

gets her clothes so dirty?

Bless her.

My poor back.

How can you have more kids?

You've got six already.

Is it six?

They're cute

when they're little,

then they grow up

to be little bleeders.

Thank God for boarding school.

- Our Terry goes to me...

- Cheers.

He goes,

"Ma, I wanna be a singer."

I said,

"Get yourself a proper job."

Does he listen? No.

They never do. I mean...

Darling, kids today,

they don't know...

how lucky they are!

Brucey! Demi!

Turn that bloody racket down!

There's the small matter

of an extremely live gig

on Saturday.

We're coming.

I don't want you to go.

- Take care.

- See you later.

We're coming.

- I need to wee.

- Yeah, so do I.

Down here. Quick.

Baby Spice! Get her shoes!

- Which one's Baby?

- The blonde one.

- Posh one.

- Which one?

The one that looks posh.

Across to Geri. Hips. Good.

This is a good bit.

"Spice Girls set

to conquer the globe."

Look at that, Brad.

"Spice Girls set

to conquer the globe."

Why can't I pick up a paper

without seeing them

all over the front page?

- You told us to write that.

- I know, I know!

As long as they sell newspapers,

we'll have to write about them.

I'm sick of them!

We need a new angle.

Who cares if the Spice Girls

get to Number One again?

Who cares if they climb

up Mount Everest on an ostrich,

or find a cure for dj vu?

Not me.

Or if they find a cure

for dj vu?

Not me.

I've got a better idea.

Try this for size.

"Spice Girls' live show

cancelled."

That's not bad.

"Spice Girls fall out."

"Spice Girls...split up!"

Think how many copies

that headline will sell.

- I like it!

- I can make it happen!

Me, Kevin McMaxford.

I put them there,

I can bring 'em down!

- Yes!

- Who's gonna help me?

Who is gonna help me

take on Girl Power

and bring it crashing

to the ground?

I'll find someone, Kevin.

I just wish

you wouldn't get so upset.

It is dangerous

to store moisurising cream

in the refrigerator.

It can be mistaken

for mayonnaise.

Check.

- What do you mean, "Check"?

- My bishop's got your king.

- Where?

- There.

Move it in front

or out of the way.

I'll move that fairground horse.

- Sort that out.

- You can't do that.

- Says who?

- Says Mr Chess.

- It's in the rules.

- I'm gonna break the rules

and set this fairground

horse free. There.

I'll slap you in a minute.

It's obvious that the

Spice Girls are movie stars.

We've worked

on this idea for months.

Can we turn off

our cellphones?

Respect for the writer.

OK, five girls, five lives.

One story as old as time itself,

but as fresh as newly-cut grass.

- And that's fresh.

Rate this script:3.7 / 3 votes