Skvernyy anekdot (A Bad Joke) Page #3

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I wish you, madam,

and you, my friend Porfiri,

I wish you absolute

and long happiness.

Our old women are simply fabulous.

She has enlivened everybody.

I have always loved

the people.

Porfiri...

Un homme trs mal lev.

Oui, oui.

Porfiri, tell me please -

I have wanted to ask you about it

in person for a long time -

why

your surname is

Pseldonimov

and not Pseudonimov.

It must be Pseudonimov.

It's must be that his father

made a mistake in papers

when taking service.

And so he remained Pseldonimov.

It happens.

Exaclty. Exactly.

Because, judge for yourselves,

Pseudonimov comes from the literary word

"pseudonym".

While...

While

Pseldonimov

doesn't make any sense.

Sheer foolishness.

Sheer foolishness what?

The Russian people

sometimes out of sheer foolishness

change letters

and pronounce

in their own way.

For example, they say "nivalid"

instead of "invalid".

Right, nivalid.

They also say

"niss",

"niss" instead of "miss".

Stop badgering him.

What? I'm only talking.

Or, maybe, I can't even talk?

His Excellency has got loaded.

The general is out of sorts.

What do you mean out of sorts?

I mean exactly that,

in a drunken state of mind.

Our general is drunk.

Who is it?

I don't know.

The general is drunk.

...They float in the air just like this.

And all that was discovered

by captain Cook,

the seafarer.

Music!

Gentlemen, please! I have

news, gentlemen.

One moment. One moment, gentlemen.

Can I have your attention, please?

One moment, please. I have news.

You Porfiri,

don't have to be shy.

If you have some issues

concerning orders and so on,

then please...

So, Your Excellency?

I don't really know...

I don't really know whether...

After all,

I have got here by accident.

Allow me to introduce myself...

And, of course...

some might consider it

inappropriate, as it were, for me

to be present at such

a gathering.

But

I hope, you understand why I am here.

I have not come here

to drink wine, after all.

I am here to encourage, as it were,

to show, as it were, the moral,

as it were, purpose.

Your Excellency, I...

Porfiri!

Bravo!

Porfiri!

Lend me 2 roubles, please.

Mesdames!

Messieurs!

Lend me 2 roubles, please.

Oui.

Not a single centime.

You don't have a life line.

Do I exist?

Very strange indeed.

Listen, are you my friend or not?

Am I your friend?

Haven't I proved it by being here?

In that case, lend me 2 roubles.

What for?

I absolutely have to buy

champagne for my general.

So will you give it to me or not?

I won't give it to you

because I don't have it.

But even if I did,

I still wouldn't give it to you.

Because your general is a retrograde.

Louise!

Louise!

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