Sightseers Page #4

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- Uh-huh.

- It's just a little festival.

Keeps them all happy, doesn't it?

You know.

And how long are they

gonna be drumming for?

Well, just this evening.

- Okay?

- Thanks a lot, mate.

- All the best.

- Yeah.

- Bye.

- Pleasure.

He seemed nice.

(DISDAINFULLY) Yurts.

CHRIS:
There's a stream

down here somewhere.

I need some proper boots, Chris.

CHRIS:
Yeah,

brought my last girlfriend.

Oh.

Yeah, I think this was it.

This is a ditch, Chris.

WOMAN:
I thought he said on the phone

we'd be at the Dingley Dell.

- MAN:
I know, darling.

- We're right by the loo.

- Well, that'll be handy.

- Shall I take some light stuff, darling?

- Yeah, that'd be great.

- Sterling Elite 90, isn't it?

Sorry?

Sterling Elite 90.

Yeah. Yes.

How'd you find it

on the petrol consumption?

Uh, not too bad, actually.

Takes her less fuel to pull

than some of the older models.

Yeah, you're probably right, yeah.

We use loads of petrol. Don't we, Tina?

Yeah, we love it.

Hey, do you mind if we have

a little look inside? Is that all right?

BOTH:
Um...

- I'll only be a second.

- MAN:
A quick look wouldn't hurt.

CHRIS:
Yeah.

WOMAN:
Okay. Fine.

CHRIS:
We really appreciate it.

Be fantastic to have a look in there.

Sorry, do you mind

just slipping those off?

- I saw you come out of the toilet block.

- CHRIS:
Mmm-hmm.

(TINA GASPS)

It's beautiful in here.

It's just like a hospital.

- It's all oak.

- (DOG BARKING)

CHRIS:
What's this, then?

MAN:
It's a stereo unit.

It's a bit delicate.

CHRIS:
Is it?

WOMAN:
It's German. German.

There's no buttons on it.

(CHUCKLES) Well, it's voice-activated.

Don't... Sorry...

- Poppy.

- WOMAN:
You all right, Banjo?

Are you in there?

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON TV)

- CAROL:
Tina?

- What?

Have you had all the Senokot?

- No.

- (DOORBELL RINGS)

- Hello.

- Hi. My name's Chalid Sulinan.

I work for CACSA,

raising money for child soldiers.

TINA:
No.

- (TOY SQUEAKING)

- Aren't you naughty?

Okay. (CLEARS THROAT) I have got some...

Poppy. Come on!

(BARKING PLAYFULLY)

She's... She's like that.

Come on! Yeah!

You're distracting me now, Poppy.

Go on.

(POPPY YELPS)

(THUDDING)

(CAROL WAILING)

Oh, my God! Tina!

(DOORS CLATTERING)

(WHISPERING) Poppy.

MAN:
Do you mind not opening that one?

Sorry, do you mind not opening that one?

God... No!

We don't give him junk food!

(DOG WHIMPERING)

MAN:
Poor boy.

- Cheap crisps are full of horrors.

- WOMAN:
I know.

It'll be nice when you've

decorated it a bit, this place.

Oh, well, we don't like clutter.

No, no, no, you don't want clutter.

You just want some plants and cushions

and pictures and a tablecloth there.

Yeah, well, that would be clutter,

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