Sightseers Page #5

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though, wouldn't it? (SIGHS)

I'm really sorry about that.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) Sorry, sorry.

That's really embarrassing.

- Never mind.

- Sorry. I'm so embarrassed.

It's fine.

Uh, you'll have to pop over

to Dingley Dell sometime.

But, uh, if the caravan's rockin',

don't come a-knockin'.

Ha. Um, we're pretty intent

on doing some serious walking.

I'm writing a book.

Walks Along the Ley Lines of Britain.

Actually, it's his third, so...

(CHUCKLES)

I'm out at the crack of dawn,

having a reconnoitre.

(DISINTERESTEDLY) Yeah. Are you?

Do you think they liked us?

Ian and Janice.

Chris?

Are you all right?

I didn't like their caravan.

(BREATHING DEEPLY)

IAN:
Um, we're pretty intent

on doing some serious walking.

- I'm writing a book.

- TINA:
Chris.

IAN:
Walks Along the Ley Lines

of Britain.

JANICE:
Actually, it's his third.

TINA:
Are you all right?

IAN:
We're pretty intent

on doing some serious walking.

I'm writing a book.

Walks Along the Ley Lines of Britain.

JANICE:
Actually, it's his third.

TINA:
Do you think they liked us?

IAN:
I'm out at the crack of dawn.

TINA:
Ian and Janice.

- IAN:
I'm writing a book.

- (CHUCKLES)

(# SEASON OF THE WITCH BY VANILLA FUDGE)

# When I look outside my window

(SOFTLY) Chris.

# What do I see?

Chris!

(SNORING)

(MUTTERING SLEEPILY)

# And when I look outside my window

# So many different people to be, yeah

# That it's strange

# So strange

# You've got to pick up every stitch

# Two rabbits running in a ditch

# The hippies out to make it rich

# Oh, oh

# Must be the season of the witch

# Must be the season of the witch

(CAMERA CLICKING)

# Must be the season of the witch

# Must be the season of the witch

(WHISPERING) Poppy!

Chris!

(FAINT DRUMMING)

My God, what is it?

Shamans. They sacrificed

Mr Grant's chickens to the goddess Kali.

Chris, you've got some on you.

Oh, sorry, yeah.

No, I'll get cleaned up in a minute.

Hey, Blue John Cavern

opens in 45 minutes.

I was thinking we should

give another campsite a go tonight.

This one's gone downhill.

MAN:
So how many chickens have you got?

MR GRANT:
Now I've only got nine,

but I had twelve.

Barbara, Margot...

and the cockerel...

Ronnie Wood.

Ian!

Ian!

We might be able to fit in, uh,

Fountains Abbey.

Banjo! What's wrong?

Where's your mummy?

What's happened? Eh?

Chris, look.

What's that?

Banjo says his mummy's

a mean, horrible b*tch

and he wants to come with us.

Oh, I don't think that would be fair

on Ian and Janice.

Banjo?

We don't care about being fair, do we?

No. We just care about being happy.

Bloody things I do for you, love.

TINA:
There we go.

Stay!

Say one f***ing word and it's...

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