Shrek the Third Page #6

I knew I came from royalty, but...

...I figured everyone forgot about me.

Oh, no. In fact the King

asked for you personally.

Really? Wow.

But I know it's not all fun and games.

It really is

all fun and games, actually.

Sure, you have to knight a few heroes,

launch a ship or two.

By the way, make sure you hit the boat

just right with the bottle.

Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle.

Well, I've heard

it's harder than it looks.

This is going to be huge.

Parties, princesses,

castles. Princesses.

You'll be living in the lap of luxury.

The finest chefs

will wait for your order.

And fortunately,

you'll have the royal food tasters.

What do they do?

Taste the food before the King eats,

to make sure it's not poisoned.

- Poisoned?

- Or too salty.

Don't worry. Your bodyguards

will keep you safe.

All of them willing

at a moment's notice

to lay down their lives

out of devotion to you.

Really?

The whole kingdom will look

to you for wisdom and guidance.

Make sure they don't die of famine!

- Or plague.

- Plague is bad.

The coughing, the groaning,

the festering sores.

Festering sores!

You are one funny kitty cat.

What did I say?

We don't want Artie

getting the wrong idea.

Artie?

There goes my hip!

Artie! What are you doing?

What does it look like?!

This really isn't up to you.

I don't know anything about being king!

You'll learn on the job!

Sorry to disappoint you,

but I'm going back.

Back to what? Being a loser?

Now look what you did!

Look what I did?

Who's holding the wheel, chief?

Shrek!

Land ho!

How humiliating.

Oh, nice going, Your Highness.

Now it's "Your Highness"?

What happened to "loser"?

If you think this is getting you

out of anything, it isn't.

We're heading back to Far Far Away

one way or another...

...and you're going to be a father!

What?

You just said "father".

King! You're going to be king!

"You're going to be king!" Yeah, right.

Where are you going?

Far Far Away... from you!

Get back here, young man!

Boss? I don't think he's coming back.

Maybe it's for the best.

He's not exactly king material.

When did you plan to tell him

you were supposed to be king?

Come on. Why would I do that?

Besides, he'll be ten times

better at it than me.

Then change your tactics

if you want to get anywhere with him.

You're right, Donkey.

What about this?

- Shrek!

- Come on. It's just a joke.

Still...

Listen, Artie.

If you think this whole mad scene

ain't dope, I feel you, dude.

I'm not trying to get up in your grill

or raise your roof.

But what I am screamin' is, yo...

...check out this

kazing thazing, bazaby!

If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying

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