Shanghai Noon Page #4

You're not still mad about me pointin'

you in the wrong direction, are you ?

Come on. You gotta be able

to laugh at stuff like that.

Like me in the desert. I don't

hold any grudges. I laugh about it.

I'm not angry at you. You just

left me there with chopsticks to die.

Roy, all by his lonesome. Just me

and the buzzards pickin 'at my head.

You're a very silent man,

aren't you ?

You weren't expecting to see

old Roy in that bar, were you ?

Be honest.

Were you ? Huh ?

Did you really

use those chopsticks ?

You better believe it.

Now you laugh. That's funny.

I gotta remember that one.

- So, who are you ?

- I'm Imperial Guard

to the Emperor of China.

China.

- What's with the book ?

- The book belongs to Princess Pei Pei.

- Who ?

- Princess Pei Pei.

She was kidnapped

from the Forbidden City.

Forbidden City ?

I like that, the Forbidden City.

A princess kidnapped.

It's so mysterious. Oh, go ahead.

The emperor sent us

to get her back.

Us ? You mean your friends

from the train ?

They are also Imperial Guards.

They have four days to bring

the gold to Carson City.

- What gold ?

- The gold for the princess.

The gold--

Was the gold on the train ?

Yes.

How much gold ?

One hundred thousand pieces.

Sir ? Sir ?

Could you hand us that book, please ?

Sir, there's been

a mistake. He has--

Sir-- Yeah.

We're gonna get that book,

and we're gonna get you out of here.

- You help me escape ?

- Shh. Yes.

- Why ?

- Why ? I'm gonna tell you why.

Because there are some things

in this world that are just wrong,

and stealing a princess

is one of them.

Yeah.

That's wrong.

I'll tell you another thing.

I feel guilty about leading you

up that mountain.

What was I thinking ?

How much time did we waste there ?

That was stupid.

It wasn't funny. All right ?

Now, sit tight and let me

figure this out.

All right,

come on, Roy.

Maybe-- Maybe I pretend to be sick, then

attack the guards when they come in.

Okay, you mean

the sick prisoner routine ?

Yeah. Does that still

work in China ?

'Cause here it's sorta

been done to death.

- I have another idea.

- No, no, no, no, no.

Here's how you help me. You

stay on your side of the room,

let me figure it out over here.

Okay, you play over there.

Think. Think.

What do we got here ? Oh, yeah.

Okay.

We got wood. We got a wall

made out of wood.

That's good.

Oh, we got pillows.

We got pillows, sheets.

We got the sheets and the mattress.

Okay, let's put it all together.

Let's think. Add it up, add it up.

What do we got ?

What do we got ?

What are you doing ?

Stop ! Stop !

- What are you doing ?

- Shh.

- Hold this for me.

- No, no. That's your shirt.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote