Shanghai Noon

-[Man Shouting In Chinese]

- [ Shouting In Unison ]

[Shouting In Unison]

[Drums Pounding]

[Traditional Chinese]

[Woman] The princess nodded,

and the frog said,

"That which you have promised,

you must perform."

Very good.

Keep reading.

"So the princess leaned in

and kissed the frog,

" but as she did, he became

a handsome prince,

"and they rode off

to his kingdom,

where they lived

happily ever after. "

Happily ever after.

There's no such thing

as " happily ever after."

Not for a real princess.

The prince my father wants me

to marry will always be a frog.

My offer still stands.

I will help you get to America.

- [ Whispers ] America ?

-[Princess] That's very kind.

[Man] But we're running out of time.

I know of a ship bound for America,

but we must leave tonight.

- Leave tonight ?

- We must hurry, Princess.

Hurry, Princess.

[ Shouting In Unison ]

-[Captain] Mung Goo Hi.

- [ Shouts ]

-Zhou Hei.

- [ Shouts ]

- Chow Lu.

- [ Shouts ]

[ All Shouting ]

[ Shouting In Unison ]

[ Whistling ]

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

Okay. Great.

Great. Okay.

Come here. Look at this.

Spent a lot of time on this.

Now, pay attention,

'cause I don't want any mistakes.

Now, I've calculated the speed of

the train and the speed of our horses.

We meet at this vector.

The only variable is the wind.

- Technically, if you travel

over here on the horses--

- Is this the train ?

All right. We're just gonna wing it...

like we always do.

- [ Chuckles ]

- Ride down, jump on the train,

hoorah the money, head back

to the cathouse, all right ?

- Mm-hmm.

- Let's go. Come on. Move out. Go !

You okay ? Nervous ? It's all right

to be nervous when you're new.

You'll be okay.

I'll keep an eye on you.

All you gotta do is follow my lead.

All right, look alive, outlaws !

[ All Whooping ]

[Wang Reading] "So the princess

leaned in and kissed the frog,

"but as she did,

he became a handsome prince,

"and they rode off

to his kingdom,

where they lived

happily ever after. "

[ Chattering, Indistinct ]

Reach for the sky,

ladies and gentlemen !

Touch that gun and I'll

blow your god damn head off!

What are you doin' ? I sorta like

to be the only guy that talks, Wallace.

- All right. I'm sorry.

- That's okay. That's okay. Good.

Don't worry. Come on, come on.

Big 'Un, let's go.

Why is the new guy talking ?

Where did you get this guy ?

You know I'm the only one who talks.

Okay, everybody keep calm.

[Wallace] You think

you're gonna shoot me ? Is that right ?

What you got right in here ?

Yeah, you got this gun ?

You think you're gonna

do something with that gun ?

Come on, Lady Bird.

You got anything in here besides yarn ?

-[Wallace] You got it out for me !

- Hey !

Whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa. No.

Come here. Come here.

We don't steal from women.

Get over here.

Take that side.

Give me your hand.

Give me your hand.

I'm so sorry about that.

I apologize.

First time you've

seen an outlaw ?

Scared ?

Kind of excited too ?

All mixed up ?

Yeah.

Last train we robbed, we were naked,

it was so hot out.

Yeah, it was somethin'.

[ Sighs ]

Yeah, it's got

my initials right there.

- [Men Shouting]

- What are you lookin' at ?

- [Woman Screams]

- [ Screams ]

Wait ! Stop !

Where did you get this guy ?

- Texas.

- Texas ? Are you insane ?

Just shoot me now, 'cause I don't

understand what we're doing here.

Sir, sir, sir, sir. Come here,

come here, come here. Sit down.

- Excuse me. [ Speaking Chinese ]

- Sir, sit down.

[Gunshot]

- What happened ?

Wallace, what are you doing ?

- I'm just wingin' it.

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