Semi-Pro Page #5

could give us a new spark.

Now, don't get mad.

- At point guard...

- At point guard?

...five-ten...

I traded away our

washing machine to get him.

He punches in bunches.

Ed Monix!

Toilet's clogged.

Hell, no.

You traded for Monix?

Yeah.

This guy's an old warrior, come on.

Yeah, he old.

He can shoot the basketball.

Most importantly,

he actually agreed to come here.

So?

It's a thrill to be in Flint.

Smells Tropical in here.

Now, look, I know

just about everyone...

in this locker room has been

punched in the face by this guy...

at some point in time.

And maybe even one of us has...

had his collarbone broken... twice.

Sorry, Twig.

Thanks, Ed.

Hey, how are your mom and sister?

It's been about 12 weeks

since I porked 'em.

Let's not talk about porking

of the moms and the sisters...

because we only have

one rule on this team.

What is that rule, Twiggy?

E-L-E.

That's right, E-L-E.

And what does "E-L-E" stand for?

"Everybody Love Everybody".

"Everybody Love Everybody".

Right there up on the wall.

Got that, Monix?

- Nope.

- Great.

'Cause this isn't just

a basketball team...

this is a lifestyle.

Welcome aboard, Monix.

Thank you.

Good to be here.

All right.

Oh, if you see a possum...

try to kill it, OK?

It's not a pet.

Welcome back to Tropics Weekly.

The ABA has announced...

that the top four teams will merge

with the NBA after this season.

Seizing the opportunity...

owner/player/coach Jackie Moon

has already made the first move...

acquiring Ed Monix

from the Kentucky Colonels.

Yeah!

I'm a pretty aggressive owner.

When I heard Kentucky needed

a washing machine, I looked at ours...

even though we need ours.

I said, "I gotta pull the trigger on this."

- Hey, honey!

- It seemed appropriate.

- Guess who got traded to Flint?

- Who?

Monix!

Why the hell would he

want to come to Flint?

I have no idea.

Who cares, right? I mean...

He's got an NBA ring

and he's playing for the Tropics.

Can you believe that?

No, I can't.

I'll get it.

It's like, if you watch a porn movie,

doesn't mean you got laid.

No, no. In fact,

it often means the opposite.

Monix was an All-American

at Michigan State...

then went on to...

- Hey.

- Hey.

You look great.

Why are you here?

Got traded. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, why are you here?

Can we talk?

- Monix!

- Hey.

- What's up?

- Yeah.

That ol' jump shot of yours

ain't broke yet, is it?

Not yet.

Man... hey!

Great backdoor cut...

for the lay-up against the Amigos

last Friday night, man.

Yeah. That's the way

basketball should be played!

- Yeah.

- Up there.

- Yeah...

- Too slow!

Hey, can you give us

a second, please?

- Yeah, no problem.

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