
Semi-Pro
# Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
# Baby, who's ready to lick me sexy? #
# Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy #
# Love me sexy! #
# Come on, girl. Yeah #
# It's me, Jackie Moon #
# Give me that look, that's right #
# Let's get sweaty,
let's get real sweaty #
# I'm talkin' rainforest sweaty #
# Let's fill the bathtub full of sweat,
all right #
# Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
# Baby are you ready to lick me sexy? #
# Baby, wake up, we're naked #
# And we're humpin' sexy #
# Come on, girl #
# Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
# Love me sexy #
# Baby, are you ready
to lick me sexy? #
# Lick me sexy #
# Take off your shoes
and suck me sexy #
# Suck, suck,
suck, suck, suck me sexy #
# Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy #
- # Whoo! #
- # Humpin' sexy #
# I wanna do a little thing wit' you #
wit' you #
# When I say "love me"
you say "sexy" #
# Love me #
- Sexy.
- Oh, yeah, Flint Tropics crowd!
Get it goin'.
It feels good, doesn't it?
I see some ladies up there
who wanna love me sexy.
Jackie Moon soaking up
as he finishes up his
once-popular song, Love Me Sexy.
I'm Dick Pepperfield joined,
as always...
Lou Redwood.
Yeah, I might suit up tonight.
Sometimes I still dream of glory, Dick.
Well, sometimes dreams
can turn into nightmares, Lou.
What's your problem?
And now, the starting lineup...
for your Flint, Michigan Tropics!
At Ball Girl, measuring 34-23-34...
she hopes to be
an astronaut one day...
I don't think she can do it.
Put your hands together for Melinda!
Go Tropics!
From South Bend, Indiana...
this guy has a heart of gold,
his brother's a retard.
He reads to him
and paints him pretty pictures...
Scootsie Doubleday!
Scootsie Doubleday
taking the court now.
Yeah, his brother
is really retarded.
Ronnie Doubleday.
He has all three
major kinds of retardation.
This guy is single
and disease-free, no V.D. at all...
but you could be the lucky girl
to give it to him!
Six foot five!
Twiggy Munson!
Of course he's disease-free.
What chick wants to be with a guy
that's hung like a twig?
Well, that's not true.
I've heard a lot of women say...
that they actually prefer a small penis.
Show me one gal who says that
and I'll show you a liar.
I'll introduce you to
Mrs. Pepperfield later on tonight.
Oh, Jesus, here we go.
Your man in the middle...
seven foot two...
from a weird country called Lithuania.
He's ugly as shit.
- Vakidis!
- Go, daddy!
- Yeah!
That little kid from the Jackson Five,
he scares ya too.
Oh, mark my words, Lou...
there's something creepy
about that young man.
Bobby Dee, where's Clarence?
- Nobody's heard from him.
- Come on, Tropics!
Bee Bee!
You're startin'.
From Peoria, Illinois...
this guy,
what can I say about him?
He's got the hottest girl in the world,
I'm not kiddin'.
Cannons, people.
Big ol' boobies.
The luckiest man in Flint...
Bee Bee Ellis!
Well, it's true about
what they say about Bee Bee's wife.
She has got a tremendous set of boobs.
To me, they're too large.
Oh, they're perfect.
I don't know, they... To me
she looks structurally unsound.
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
At six foot five,
a solid, meaty 215 pounds...
your pregame announcer,
your owner, your coach...
your pop singing sensation,
but most importantly...
your power forward...
yours truly, Jackie Moon!
All right!
Jackie Moon
always gives himself...
a fantastic introduction.
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Citation
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"Semi-Pro" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 20 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/semi-pro_17766>.