School for Scoundrels Page #6

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Could I drive you home

after the game, April?

Drive?

I have a surprise for you.

You haven't bought a car?

Mm.

Get a move on.

Er, yes, of course.

Erm, would you care to

come down with us?

Mm-hm.

Thank you.

Call.

Rough.

Smooth.

I'll take this end.

No need to change, is there?

All right.

My serve, then.

I'm afraid I am a bit

out of practice.

So am I.

Would you like 15 start

or shall we play level?

Level!

Good luck.

No partisanship, little lady.

Wish Palfrey good luck too.

Aren't you standing rather

close to the net?

No, it's my game.

I move back for the second.

All right.

Hard cheese!

Aren't you going to

move back a bit?

No, I've changed my mind.

Hard cheese! Love-15.

Hard cheese!

Out, but I'll take it.

Hard cheese!

Good shot.

What is it? Love-30.

Didn't deserve it.

Rotten stroke.

Hard cheese!

Oh. Hard cheese!

Love-40.

Service.

Ready.

Out! Hard cheese!

Oh!

So sorry.

Oh, I say,

smashing cricket stroke.

Well, that's... one-love.

Sure you wouldn't like

that handicap?

No!

Were you ready?

Not really.

Ready now?

Right.

Good shot, Henry.

Thank you, April.

Oh! Oh!

Hard cheese!

15-love.

Ready?

Right!

Were you ready?

Did you say yes?

Yes!

30-love.

Pretty spin you put on them.

No, not really.

Court's a bit uneven.

Oh!

My game.

And set.

Sorry to keep you waiting,

dear girl,

but we had to get our friend

Palfrey here patched up a bit.

Ready to go?

Yes, erm, shall we go?

Of course, your new car.

I didn't think you'd

get one so soon, Henry.

Ha ha ha!

What on earth's that?

Looks like

a Polish stomach pump.

Let's go and look at it.

What sort of an idiot would

drive a thing like this?

Yes, what sort of an idiot...

Henry, is this...?

Oh, no, no, of course not.

I wouldn't be fool enough

to buy a car like that.

Well, where is yours?

Er, well, it doesn't appear

to have arrived yet. I...

well, you can't

expect Miss Smith

to hang around

all day, can you?

Oh, I don't mind waiting.

No, no, no, it doesn't matter.

Delauney is quite right.

You mustn't wait.

But, I...

no, no, no, I insist, really.

Splendid!

I know a little place

down in the river

where we might have a swim.

Do you like swimming?

Mmm.

Splendid!

I know a charming little pub

where we might have some

dinner afterwards.

And that's how it happened.

In fact, that's how

everything always happens,

and then I saw your

advertisement.

Well, what you've just

told me amounts to this,

that you find yourself

constantly

in a one-down position

to the world in general,

and to this young female

in particular.

Oh, well, before we go

any further,

I think I ought to mention

the little matter of fees.

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