
School for Scoundrels
- APPROVED
- Year:
- 1960
- 94 min
- 180 Views
(0.00 / 0 votes)lions gate entertainment
Mr. Potter?
Come in, you're late.
I'm sorry.
The, erm, the train.
Punctuality is the politeness of
princes, Mr. Potter always says.
Mr. Potter is just starting his
beginning-of-term speech.
You'll have to wait.
...with which sentiment I'm sure
you will agree.
You all know that
in the beginning,
there were Adam and Eve.
You'll remember that Adam bit
into that apple,
loser was born.
Yes, the pattern was set,
and the world divided,
not into male and female.
Oh, no, no, no.
That's just a mere superficial
division of minor importance.
No, gentlemen, there is
another division,
another dichotomy,
more basic, more profound.
At that fateful moment,
the world was divided
into winners...
and losers.
Top men...
and underdogs.
In a word, the one-up...
and the one-down.
Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes,
I can see the question
in your hungry eyes.
You want to know
what is Lifemanship.
Well, gentlemen,
Lifemanship is the science of
being one up on your opponents
at all times.
It is the art of making him feel
that somewhere somehow,
he has become less than you,
less desirable, less worthy...
less blessed.
Who then, you ask,
are your opponents?
Everybody, in a word,
who is not you.
And the purpose of your life
must be to be one up on them,
because, and mark this well,
he who is not one up...
is one down.
Come in!
Potter?
Yes.
They sometimes call me,
Mr. Potter, but...
I beg your pardon.
I'm Mr. Henry Palfrey.
Ah! Sit down, Palfrey.
Well? Tell me all about
yourself, Palfrey.
Well, it's like this,
Mr. Potter...
have a cigarette, Palfrey.
Thank you, Potter.
You don't mind my cigar,
do you, Mr. Palfrey?
Not at all, Mr. Potter.
Thank you, Henry. Ha ha!
My round, I think.
What do you mean?
Never mind, we'll talk
about that later.
Now tell me, what first prompted
you to enrol in the college?
Well...
frankly, Mr. Potter,
I'm a failure.
No.
You'll have some tea with me,
won't you, Palfrey?
Thank you very much.
So, you want to be a success.
Well, I think we can help you.
But first, I like to have a
clear picture of the background
of the student.
You're in love, of course.
How did you know?
Thank you, Alice.
Have a muffin, Palfrey.
Thank you.
Blonde?
Erm...
no, with lemon.
The young lady...
is she a blonde?
Oh, I see!
Er, well, not quite.
That could be serious.
Now, let's begin at
the beginning.
How did you first meet this
Well, it happened on Tuesday.
Or was it Wednesday?
Yes, Wedn... no, it wasn't,
it was Tuesday.
I was on my way to the office
in the morning as usual.
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Of all the stupid, awkward...
Clumsy?
Clumsy idiots. Ooh!
I say, I'm most terribly sorry
sorry? Is that all you've
got to say
when you knocked me down
like a wild...
uncivilised?
Uncivilised.
Savage?
Sava...
No, not really.
Oh, but I am.
Yes, I am permanently
uncivilised, I'm...
Oh!
What's the matter?
My beautiful new stocking's
ruined.
Oh!
I'll probably sue you.
Oh, I do wish you would.
I'm fully insured, you know.
Personal, property,
accident, medical,
all that sort of thing.
Just take your pick.
No, thank you, but it's very
nice of you to offer.
Look, give me those, I'm going
to be late for work.
Under no circumstances.
You're probably shaken
or bruised or something.
The least I can do is to
carry them for you.
But then you'll be
late for work.
Work? Oh, work!
That old thing. Ha ha ha.
Well, you do work,
don't you?
Well, of course, I do,
but they can do
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"School for Scoundrels" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 16 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/school_for_scoundrels_17591>.