Scary Movie Page #6

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

SHORTY:

Kid, in the most successful horror

flicks, most niggas don't even make

it to the credits, yo.

HOMIE #1

Word.

SHORTY:

That's why we as a people have to

come together and show up to the

movies on time if we want to see

our black people die. If you stop

to get a forty, you could miss the

whole thing.

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

SHORTY:

'Cause you know they ain't gone

never let us play the homeopathic

killer.

HOMIE #1

Word.

SHORTY:

Oh, sure there's that one cat,

Candyman, but they don't even let

that brotha wear a mask. Why not?

Jason, Michael Myers, even the Phantom

of the Grand Ole Opry covers half

his face.

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

SHORTY:

But see, the thing is, they don't

fit a description. On the other

hand, without a mask, they could

easily stick my man Candy in a

line up and frame him for some trumped

up bullshit. You see what I'm saying?

HOMIE #1

Uh, word?

SHORTY:

And tell me this, why he always got

to be on C.P. time?

SHORTY:

You've got to call the brotha'

repetitiously before he even shows up.

Candyman! Candyman! Candyman!

Nigga' you hear me callin you.

Bring your pimp lookin ass on.

Off chasing white girls. That's what

got your hands cut off in the first

place. Which brings me to my point,

son.

The two stare at him in confused silence.

SHORTY (CONT'D)

(as if it were obvious)

Yo, it all started with a white girl.

So you know what that means.

Continued silence.

SHORTY (CONT'D)

Drew's dead. We black. Candy.

Man. It's so obvious, kid.

Blank stares.

SHORTY (CONT'D)

I've got the munchies like a mutha'

fucka'.

Suddenly clarity registers with the homies.

HOMIE #1

Word.

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY ' DAY

The girls enter.

V.O.

Hey ladies!

The girls turn to see SHORTY, young African American, cute,

in an awkward kind of

way.

CINDY:

Hi Shorty.

BRANDY:

Talk to the hand.

She puts her hand in his face.

SHORTY:

Cindy?

CINDY:

Can't Shorty.

SHORTY:

Oh well, you force me to open it up

to hundreds of other girls who would

die for the opportunity, but just

because I like you guys, I'm gonna

wait till lunch before I go public.

See ya at the fountain.

Shorty heads to class.

BUFFY:

Whatever! What a geek!

CINDY:

I think Shorty is cute. If I wasn't

dating Bobby, I would go out with him.

BRANDY:

Sh*t girl, Bobby lives in a trailer.

Dating Shorty would be a step up.

CINDY:

If how much money a guy has is so

important, why are you dating Ray?

BRANDY:

First of all, look at him. He's

100% man.

P.O.V. GIRLS

Ray and Greg standing at lockers.

Ray takes off his shirt, exposing his muscular upper body.

He slips on a ty-dyed tank top.

RAY:

Yo, man, this shirt make me look gay.

Rate this script:3.3 / 4 votes