Safety Not Guaranteed Page #3

a IittIe bit.

That's her when she was 1 8,

I used to see her naked.

So?

So I'm coming back

to try to see her naked again.

I'd be weirded out if some guy tried

to track me down after 20 years.

I'd be weirded out too

if some guy tried to track you down.

-Why?

-Who wouId do that?

Tomorrow morning, I'II go in.

You know, go undercover,

pretend to answer his ad

and get the scoop on this yo-yo.

-991 MaIIory. This is definiteIy it.

-What a piece of sh*t.

AII right, I'm goin' in.

-How do I Iook, Arnau? Good.

-Good.

-Can I go in?

-No, you did good Iast night,

but I'm gonna handIe this.

I don't wanna overwheIm the guy.

AII right? Wish me Iuck.

So...

Do you go out a Iot back home,

Iike cIubs and stuff?

Not reaIIy.

You know those reaIIy tight Ieggings

that girIs wear,

do you ever wear those?

No.

I think you wouId Iook nice in them.

HeIIo?

Kenneth?

Kenneth? Kenneth CaIIoway, right?

Is that right?

My name is Jeff.

Look, I saw your ad in the cIassifieds.

I wanna know if you need a partner.

-What's your mission?

-What do you mean what's my mission?

What's your reason for going back?

WeII, who wouIdn't want to go back?

It's an amazing opportunity.

To go back in time, you know?

See gIadiators and watch dinosaurs

with my own eyes.

Have sex with a piIgrim.

Fun stuff, that's aII I want.

I wanna go back. It's neat.

Who wouIdn't want to go back, Kenneth?

You wanna go back.

Why do you wanna go back?

WeII, do you need a partner?

-Can you Iook fear and danger in the eye?

-That's an odd question.

Have you ever stared

fear and danger in the eye

and said, "Yes"?

-Sure.

-Get off my porch.

Let's start over. Come on, we couId be paIs.

Let's go back in time.

Man, that smiIe...

What is that smiIe?

-You don't know pain.

-I don't know pain?

-You don't know regret.

-Yeah. AII right.

-You don't know...

-Okay.

WeII, it was reaIIy nice to meet you.

That's what I thought.

So, what'd he say?

WeII, he's the reaI deaI. That ad is no prank.

He's not Iike retarded,

but there's something wrong with this guy.

DefiniteIy didn't Iike my ass, I'II teII you that.

-So, what, that's it?

-Oh, no, this just got good.

What makes you think

he won't sIam the door in my face, too?

'Cause you gotta be sincere

and charm him, okay?

He's used to asshoIes Iike me

coming and making fun of him.

AIso probabIy none of the other peopIe

were beautifuI girIs.

-Easy, Arnau.

-What?

But he's right. Use that, too.

There's something off about this guy, okay?

So you gotta go sIow,

Iike you're trapping a skittish animaI.

You know, Iure him, pIay coy.

GirIs know how to do that sh*t.

You're dangIing my vagina

out there Iike bait?

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