Ruin Me Page #4

that condom.

Nothing, huh?

Sorry. It's been

a stressful day.

It's just weird with

the other tents right here.

Yeah.

I could do something

for you though.

You want to wet it

a little bit?

What about my sweaty

balls policy?

But I haven't even

been to the gym.

A five-hour car ride,

blindfolded van ride,

and a late night chase?

I think the balls

are sweaty.

My best offer.

I'll take it!

Please.

What was that?

Nothing.

Did you see that?No. It's a raccoon,

whatever.

What the f*** was that?

Ahh!What are you doing

in there?

How many of you

are out here?

You shouldn't be here.

-Are you coming?

-Are you crazy?

Nathan:
No, come on.

It's part of the show!

He's one of the guys

from the article.

You escaped.

-Escaped from what?

-Not you!

Whoa, whoa, you're doing

a bang-up job, detective.

Ready to tap out?

Uh, will this granola bar

help with our mission?

Larry, get the handcuffs.

Somebody's

feeling kinky, huh?

Just get them!

All right!

Somebody help me

get his arms.

I thought we weren't

supposed to touch them.

Oh! You're pretty!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay, okay, that's enough.

-F*** you!

-Whoa!

Uh, it's just a prop.What should I do?

I'll get the left,

you get the right.

Oww, f***!

Nathan!

Leave now!

They're coming for you!

Are you okay?No, it f***ing hurts!

Is this supposed

to be part of it?

No, right?

We all signed waivers.

Let me see.

Okay, it's not deep.

Screw this.

Aloha! Welcome to --No, no, no! Alex, no.

It's just -- it's not

a big deal, okay?

I overreacted.

He'll be okay.

-I'm a nurse.

-It's just weird.

Do you think

it was an accident?

Why do you keep

looking at me?

Aren't you supposed

to be an expert?

I got the handcuffs.

What'd I miss?

I'm crashing.

Hard.

I think I'm gonna

stay up a bit.

I'm fine, it's just,

I'm not ready for bed.

She's safe with me, Cap'n.

You've done these

before, right?

A few.

You ever seen anyone

get hurt?

Skinned knees, bug bites.

Not like that.

Are you scared?

Nah.

Think of it like

an amusement park ride.

How many times are they gonna

pull the same schtick?

Oh, no, the ride's broken,

we're all gonna die.

Ahh!

It's the oldest trick

in the book.

What happens when

the ride really breaks?

Look. The odds of dying

on a roller coaster

are 1 in 750 million.

That's a fact.

I looked it up once.

Uh, the odds of being

struck by lightning

while riding a roller coaster

are 1 in 750 billion.

Odds of mental patients

actually escaping next door

to a horror movie-themed

weekend?

Well...

You're not that lucky.

You mean

I'm not that unlucky.

Okay. That guy could be

a haunted house actor

or he could be

a deranged killer

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