Robodoc Page #5

Synopsis: Plagued by uninsured patients, greedy insurance companies, heartless health care conglomerates, and stressed out doctors, the health care delivery system is on the verge of a total breakdown - and Jake Gorman couldn't be happier. The egomaniacal medical malpractice attorney has it all. His face adorns billboards, his ads run constantly on TV and radio, while his army of informants tip him off to profitable new cases. Suing doctors has made Jake a famous and very wealthy man. Jake never met a doctor he couldn't sue, until now. As a cost cutting measure at its hospitals, R.I.P Healthcare has developed the perfect doctor. MD 63 (a.k.a. Robo-Doc) is a robotic doctor whose data bank contains all the medical knowledge in the world, and therefore Robo-Doc CAN'T make a mistake. Robo-Doc was designed to save both money and lives. Success would bring flawless, affordable health care to all and spell ruin for Jake Gorman.
Genre: Comedy, Sci-Fi
Director(s): Stephen Maddocks
Production: National Lampoon Inc.
 
IMDB:
4.2
R
Year:
2009
96 min
Website
26 Views


That's funny, it is.

It's no joke, doctor.

I'm Jason Dockery,

M.D. 63's chief technician.

I'm here to get you acquainted

with his features.

Features?

I asked Buttkiss for a doctor with a pulse,

I don't need an

overgrown coffee maker.

Coffee? Would you like it black?

Or with cream and sugar?

Buttkiss!

Maybe he wanted tea?

Buttkiss! You promised me a doctor!

You've given me a vending machine

with a stethoscope.

So you've met M.D. 63.

I hear he's a very expensive,

highly-specialized device.

I don't need a device.

I need a living, breathing doctor.

Well, forget it!

Look around, Richard.

Lawsuits, malpractice rates,

decreasing reimbursements.

All the breathing doctors are quitting.

Just give it a chance. Maybe you'll learn

something from this robot doctor.

And I need another nurse!

One made of flesh would be nice.

Half-caf, triple grande,

three sugars, soy.

No whipped mocha.

Me, too.

Come on, Doctor Coffee,

we're late for rounds.

Back straight, stomach out a tiny bit,

put your feet down,

right in the middle...

Gentlemen! Let us begin.

Allow me to introduce the

newest addition to our staff.

This is what corporate now

refers to as a physician.

Wait a minute,

you have got to be kidding.

Is he a...

Yes, right down to his CPU.

Dr. Keefe, your presentation.

Speaking of P.U.,

Mrs. Flaherty is a morbidly obese,

flatulent, malodorous...

Alright, okay, we get the point,

she's fat and smelly.

Mrs. Flaherty is a 52-year-old woman

who is suffering from abdominal pain.

Let me take a look.

Mrs. Flaherty,

does it hurt when I do this?

Does it hurt when I do this?

Mrs. Flaherty,

when was the last time you ate?

About ten minutes ago.

Ah. And what did you eat?

I had a rack of lamb,

a side of beef,

four fried chickens,

and some Chinese.

Ah, some Chinese food?

Or some Chinese people?

Doctors, it appears that

Mrs. Flaherty has...

an old-fashioned stomach-ache.

If we're all in agreement, let's get her

some antacid and get her out of here.

I disagree.

Oh, the toaster speaks.

This woman has acute appendicitis.

I've seen her naked.

Trust me, she doesn't have a cute anything.

She needs surgery now.

Okay, I am not going to

stand here and justify myself

to some motorized mannequin.

I am Chief of Surgery,

and I say she's out of here.

She's outta here!

If you do not open her up, I will.

You couldn't open a can of beans, tin man.

Well, actually...

Fine!

Go right ahead.

But who's going to help you, huh?

MD-63 doesn't need any help.

He shifts automatically

between anesthesiologist,

surgeon and scrub nurse mode.

One red hot appendix, doctor.

What is he doing now?

Since MD-63 is programmed to perform

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Doug Gordon

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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