Road Trip Page #3

only her company, and sale does not

constitute sexual relations.

(Groaning)

(EL) I know. Believe me, I've tried.

Without further ado,

let's introduce our first...person.

- Laura!

- (Applause)

Laura's from Long Island.

She likes the outdoors

and loves seafood.

- OK, let's start the bidding at $5!

- $3.50!

Good God, moneybags,

she's not a Happy Meal.

(Laughter)

- $5.

- OK, we've got five. Do I hear 10?

- 10 bucks.

- (Auctioneer calling)

Who's got 15 bucks

for a lovely evening with Laura?!

OK, we got 15. Who can beat 15?

Going once, going twice...

Sold...to the captain.

(Applause)

There you are.

- Hey, what's going on?

- Not much.

- You look great.

- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Listen, Jacob's here,

and he's a total psycho...

Can you go outbid him?

You know what,

I didn't bring that much money.

You don't understand. He's obsessed.

See? That's fun, right??

OK, PK. Now, I want you two

to kiss each other.

All right, has anyone seen Beth?

There she is!

- (Cheering)

- Say hi to the crowd, Beth.

Hi.

Can I hear a $5 opening bid?

- $5 right here!

- Who can beat five?

- Seven.

- $10.

- $10! Going once. Going twice.

- $15!

- 20.

- 25!

- Going twice.

- 26.

- 26, going once.

- 30!

- OK, can anyone beat $26?

- I just said 30!

There must be someone

who can beat $26?

- Me, right here! 30!

- Sold! To my man Josh for $26.

(Applause)

You heard me.

I bid $30 loud and clear.

Your bid didn't count.

- Why?

- Because you're a TA.

- So?

- This auction is for students.

Goodbye.

# On and on until the early morning

# They're rockin' on and on

until the early morning... #

(Beth giggles)

Thanks for doing that. I owe you one.

- You owe me more than one.

- Do I?

Technically.

Well...

are you ready to collect?

I think so. Yeah.

We're touching.

It's a lot of fun. (Chuckles)

- We're having a good time.

- (Chuckles)

(Romantic music)

Who's Tiffany Henderson?

Just some girl I used to date

since I was, like, five.

But that's over now. She blew me off.

Oh, poor baby.

You must be very hurt.

Do you need some special attention?

Well, I am pretty upset.

Did that help?

That helped a lot.

I have an idea.

What do you say?

Uh, I don't think so.

Come on! It'll be fun.

- I've always wanted to try this.

- No...

Yes.

I'm gonna interview you.

Fine.

OK.

- OK, Josh.

- Yes.

What do you look for in a girl??

Um, well, let's see.

She should be smart and funny and...

That's good, too.

Do you feel better yet??

I feel a little bit better.

Yeah. A little...

What else do you look for??

She should be attractive and...

nice and...

Topless. And topless.

And she should kiss me.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote