(Man) Welcome to the University
of Ithaca. This is it, right here.
I'm gonna give you a good tour today.
Show you as much as you need to know.
This is the main area
of the university.
You'll be getting used to this area.
This is sort of where you congregate.
Come in around me. Keep close.
I've had problems
with stragglers before, OK?
They get lost in the back
and hit by trucks, OK?
It's not pretty. This is the...
By the way, this is the Joseph
H Nelson Memorial Library here, OK?
It was built, uh...
It was built, uh, in the 1600s.
That's the address. OK? Wise-ass.
That's the psychology department.
You're expected to volunteer for
cutting-edge experimental testing.
Kind of cool.
When it's your turn, remember
to wear loose clothes, no metal,
and be prepared to receive several
heavy doses of electric current.
They're watching us right now.
is the department of English.
Most of you speak English already
so we can skip that.
- How long have you been here?
- Eight years.
You don't seem to know anything.
This is the worst tour ever.
Doesn't anything cool happen?
Yeah, cool stuff happens.
is the coolest place in the world.
he's never been anywhere else.
Go ahead, laugh all you want.
But the fact is, this is the setting
for the greatest story ever told.
It's about this guy I knew,
and his girlfriend, Tiffany.
It's one of the most
fascinating journeys ever.
'Josh and Tiffany
were always together,
'starting from when they were little.
'They did everything as a team.
'When Tiffany was 10,
she had her tonsils taken out.
'Josh stayed in the hospital
for three days.
'They were best friends.
'What started out as friendship...
'blossomed into some serious French
kissing and lots of heavy petting.
'They spent so much time together
that even their dogs started dating.
'They seemed destined
to be together forever.
'But after high school, they faced
the most challenging challenge ever -
'a long-distance relationship.
'See, while Josh was enrolled here at
the wonderful University of Ithaca,
'Tiffany went off to
veterinary school in Austin, Texas.
'But they made a pact,
a promise to stay true to each other,
'to talk every day and maintain
an exclusive relationship.'
That turned out to be more difficult
than either of them ever imagined.
Tiffany! Hey, baby.
Oh, my God.
You were amazing last night.
- I never ever came like that before.
- Come on!
Seriously! I had to take
two birth control pills today.
You wanna help me study
Forget tonight. Come over now.
Let's blow this class off.
'Tiffany and Carla can't come to the
phone but please leave a message.'
- Hey, Tif, it's me...again.
Just wonderin' where you are.
Still trying to get hold of you.
Everything's cool, though.
I'll catch you later.
Call me back, OK? OK. Bye.
I just wanted to add something
before I sent this video.
I haven't talked to you
in a few days and...
I'm thinking you don't like me...
But I am getting a little worried so
gimme a call when you get a chance.
Barry says hi.
So gimme a call
as soon as you can. I miss you.
- Call me, OK? Bye.
- What's up, guys?
- Not much. You?
I was just finishing my tape to Tif.
(Barry) Mitch, what are you doing?
Are you hungry? Huh?
- You gonna feed him?
- No, I'm checking the temperature.
Mitch needs an evenly distributed
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"Road Trip" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 25 Mar. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/road_trip_17028>.
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