Private School Page #3

of a toothpick into the end

and she's ready to work for you. Yep.

And, of course, we also

carry the full line of flosses

and picks and the bristle brushes

in the various degrees of stiffness.

Did your dentist recommend

anything in particular?

My dentist? Yep. Your dentist.

Did you get them?

What the hell is this stuff?

He... He misunderstood me and

it was too much trouble to...

I'll do it.

Absolutely magnificent.

And you can really feel

it working, can't you?

You know what? Let's let

this little bit in here

dry a little bit more and I'll

be with you in two seconds.

Well, hello, young lady.

What can I help you with today?

I'd like to buy some condoms.

Yeah. Well, let's see.

We have these on sale this week.

This is three dozen for

$5.99. I'll take them.

However, I don't know if I'd trust them.

They've been on the

shelf for quite some time.

Now, we have this new product here.

These are multicolored and ribbed.

Oh, that'll be just fine.

No, I don't think so.

I don't think you'd want

anything that tawdry, do you?

No, no, or do you? No.

No. No, what you want is

something really reliable, huh?

Yeah. Yep.

Well, I have sold literally miles and miles

of these and I've never had any complaints.

Now, does he like them pre-lubricated?

Your husband. These are for

your husband, aren't they?

Yes, for my husband.

They're definitely for my husband,

and we're both definitely married!

And does he like them

pre-lubricated, then?

Yeah, I'll take them.

Get this stuff off my face!

Miss Dutchbok. Good

afternoon, Miss Dutchbok.

Good afternoon, Christine.

You probably wonder what I'm

doing here... I don't really care!

...buying these very

things for my father.

Actually they're not

for my father, they're...

Fine! But don't you have homework

to do back at school, Christine?

Yes, I do. I do have lots of homework

and I'll just be paying for these vitamins

here and going on my way. Thank you.

You know, green really is your color.

Hey, did you win one yet?

So you're finally gonna get into

Chris' pants. I can't believe it.

Hey, scumbag, don't talk

about Chris like that.

Oh, our James doesn't approve of

your vocabulary, do you, James?

No, he's right, Roy. I'm sorry, Jim.

Perhaps I should've said, have

you given her a hot beef injection?

You guys are animals! Get out of here!

Hey, big boy. Think you're

man enough to score with me?

Damn right! Hey, guys!

I have to be in bed early tonight.

Don't worry, honey, you will be.

Oh, don't touch me there! It's not fair!

Hey, Jim, I'm doing better than you.

Oh, oh, yes, yes.

I did it! I scored!

I got into her pants!

Yeah, that's about as close as

you're ever gonna get to nookie.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes