Premature Page #4

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preliminary round.

Are you serious?

Sh*t. I did not see

either of those coming.

[ Sighs ]

Well...

Here we are.

You're gonna nail

it. I know it.

You think?

Yes.

I mean, who can

resist those legs?

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

Rob crabbe?

Jack roth, Georgetown

admissions. Good to meet you.

Please take a seat.

Uh, before we begin, allow me

to apologize for the shorts.

Some of my classmates thought

it might be amusing if uhh...

bullies.

What was their weapon of choice?

A piss-filled water gun.

Direct hit.

Say no more. I'll pretend

they're pants.

[ Chuckles ]

Look, everything I've read

about you is great, so I'm

really here just to put

a face with the name.

Are those your notes?

Give them to me.

You don't need notes.

Just be yourself.

And it's okay if you don't

know who that is yet.

That's what college is for...

to figure out who you are.

Right? Not what somebody else

wants you to be, but who you...

Really...

Are.

Just answer the

questions honestly.

You're gonna do fine, all right?

[ Chuckles ] Okay.

I see that your parents both

graduated from Georgetown.

Yeah. Both my mom and dad.

They met there, actually.

Uh, some kids grow up hearing

about oz or wonderland.

All my fairy tales took place in

the mythical land of Georgetown.

[ Both laugh ]

[ Crying ]

I'm sorry.

[ Sniffles ]

I met my wife...

At Georgetown, too.

[ Chuckles ]

But then...

[ Crying ] Lupus.

[ Sniffles ]

I'm sorry.

It feels like it happened

yesterday. It was 10 months ago.

I'm just having a moment, okay?

[ Sniffles ]

Yeah, no.

Please, take your time.

No, no, no.

Let's do this.

Let's do this.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Sobbing ]

You know who the biggest bully

is?

Lupus?

No!

It's life!

Life is the biggest

bully of them all.

They'll shoot you with a

piss-filled water pistol

again and again and again.

You got to just get

up, carry on.

Smell like piss.

[ Sniffles ]

Life is the biggest f***ing

bully of them all.

I am sorry.

[ Sniffles ]

Whoa!

Detour.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, lookit here.

It says that you were, uh, part

of the student-to-student

tutoring initiative.

Mr. roth?

[ Voice breaking ] My wife

was my tutor.

That is how we met.

[ Crying ] Oh, God.

That's how we met.

And now she's gone.

[ Sobbing continues ]

Um...

I have my dad's headband, so...

Thank you.

[ Sniffles ]

Oh.

[ Blowing nose ]

[ Sniffles ]

How'd it go?

He cried.

Somehow I reminded him of the

greatest loss of his life.

There goes Georgetown.

It's not the end of the world.

It's just your dad talking.

There are other schools.

Imagine for one second that

you had any goals whatsoever,

and then imagine if

they didn't happen.

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