Premature

Synopsis: A high school senior has to re-live losing his virginity over and over again until he gets it right, with the right girl.
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy
Director(s): Dan Beers
Production: Morningwood Productions
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
34
Rotten Tomatoes:
50%
R
Year:
2014
93 min
249 Views


[ Film projector clicking ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

[ Clock ticking ]

[ Moaning ]

RARBG.COM All right, so here's how

you can tell, in order of weirdness,

that this is a dream.

First off, I'm having sex.

Second, I'm on a heart-shaped

bed with red rubber sheets.

Nice.

Are those beakers?

Yep, I'm in my chemistry class.

That's third.

And this woman is just perfect.

I mean, look at her.

Those eyes... Those lips...

Those three tits.

I would tell you the fifth,

but this is about the time

where I...

I'm bit part player in the

story of my life

and I can't wake up, but I

just won't sleep at night

but maybe I'm alive and maybe

I'm dead

the things you say went around

my head

empty words that sound like

shit to me

turn around, round, round,

round, round, round

turn it around

turn around, round, round,

round, round, round

just... Throw the sheets

in the laundry, hon.

[ Slurping ]

It's okay.

She's in the laundry room.

Sit down.

I should probably be

going to school, so...

We both know how important

today's interview is.

Dad, I really don't need

another pep talk.

little league and your team

played with eight players,

I said nothing.

When you were bullied

by Sally levinson...

I said nothing.

When you lost the class

presidency to a raccoon...

He was the school mascot.

...I said nothing.

But this is too important to me

to just sit idly by

and say nothing.

[ Taps chair ]

So, come on. Please.

Okay. Fine.

I want you to wear

this during the interview.

This is my old headband from

when I rowed crew at Georgetown.

But... I don't row crew.

Oh, God. This smells

like crotch.

That's the smell of a champion.

Today you have a

huge opportunity.

Today you'll make me proud.

[ Groans ]

It would save me time if I would

just put down newspaper on

his... Bed.

[ Cold war kids'

"miracle mile" plays ]

I was supposed to

do great things

I know the road was long

but I wasn't raised to

shoot for fame

I had the safety on

ooh, ooh, ooh

[ horn honks ]

I cut my ties,

I sold my rings

I wanted none of this

if you start from scratch,

you have to sing

just for the fun of it

cute dress!

Hello, Lisa.

Why is he near us?

Have a good day at school.

Rob!

Yo, rob!

Ah!

Oh.

Hey, are you okay?

Shh.

So, I'm about to blow my load

when Lisa says, "wait. "

She then stands up,

gets dressed,

turns to me and says,

"okay.

Come now. "

And boom.

I came.

How does a high school chick

learn mind control like that?

Maybe some sort of magnet

school for the sexually advanced?

You're gonna love sex.

It's like jerking off with the

best sock on the planet.

Wait.

Why are you dressed

like Ellen degeneres?

I have my interview today.

I'm not dressed like Ellen.

So, what are you gonna

do if you don't get in?

Hey. No. Shut up, okay?

I have to get in.

Don't jinx me.

So I'll kill a chicken.

Relax.

Hey, man. You want to

come over tonight?

I'm playing "grand theft auto"

online with that kid from the Balkans.

You know, he sent me

this fucked-up YouTube clip.

Some mma guy got punched in the

nuts so hard he shit

himself and came.

Wow, uh, as much as I'd love

to see that, Gabrielle and I are

watching the spelling

bee tonight.

Hi, guys.

The dork super bowl?

trembling kids, terrified of

disappointing their watching parents.

I mean, it's like watching

televised child abuse.

It's fucking awesome.

They don't get punched,

but they do shit themselves.

Huh.

And a good morning to you both.

Hey, gabs.

Thanks.

Arthur.

What time you flying out, Artie?

Too bad the special Olympics

doesn't have a comedy competition.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Premature" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 21 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/premature_16174>.

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