Pauly Shore Is Dead Page #6

At least I didn't spend|as much money as Elton.

You don't need|an accountant, Pauly.

What you need is help--|real help.

Now, I know of a sex rehab|in Arizona...

that you oughta|check yourself into.

I just got a six-month chip.

[ Woman Moaning In Sex ]|Oh.! Oh, sh*t.!

[ Moaning]

- [ Continues Moaning ]|- [ Phone Line Ringing ]

- [ Woman ] Hello?|- Hey.

- What are you doin'?|- What are you doin'?

- Watching you.|- [ Moaning ]

- Tell me what I like.|- [ sighs ] Not right now, Pauly.

- I'm doing my taxes.|- But I need you.

- All right.|- [ Video Continues ]

First, I'm gonna kiss|all over your stomach.

- Then we'll do reverse cowgirl.|Then I'm gonna suck your--|- [ Call Waiting Beeps ]

- W-Wait. Hello.|- [ Elderly Woman ] What are you doin', Pauly?

Hey, Mom.|I'm doin' my taxes.

You don't do your taxes.|Come on over.

Just hold on.

- [ Video Continues ]|- [ Gasps ] Quick. Quick, tell me what I like.

[ Mom ] Wimpy's hamburgers.|Matzo and eggs.

- Apple pie and raisins.|- Mom.

- Mom, please wait.|- Pineapple and bananas.

[ Gasping ]

[ sighing ]

[ Mom ]|Pauly. What's goin' on?

Aw, sh*t.

- Are you okay?|- Mom, I'm fine.

I'm fine, okay?

I need you to come over.|My head hurts.

- F***. I'll be over there in a sec.|- 'Cause I got a headache.

- I'm coming!|- Hurry up.

It's just kind of|a momentum thing.

Whatever the momentum is, it's not going|towards me. I don't have any momentum.

- Oranges! Oranges! Oranges!|- Chiclets! Chiclets!

- It'll swing the other way.|- Well, when's it gonna swing?

You just never know.

- You just gotta be ready for when it does swing.|- Right.

- Chiclets!|- Oranges.!

- Chiclets.!|- Rico suave oranges!

- Maybe we can hook up after dinner at the store.|- Oh, my God.

Orange-- Hey, b-b-baby.|Come here.

Oranges.

- Rico?|- Pauly! What's up, Weasel?

Hey, this is my son.|This is Junior, man.

Chiclets! Chiclets!|Chiclets!

- Chiclets!|-Just like his daddy, bro! What's up, man?

Nothin', man. How you been?|What have you been doin'?

- selling oranges. Buy some, man.|- Chiclets! Chiclets!

I was at the supermarket.|I just got a whole bunch of oranges.

- Hey, it was good seeing you.|- Hey, wait, wait, wait.! Where you goin; bro?

Pauly, come on, man. Not in front of my son.|Buy some oranges, bro.

- Chiclets! Chiclets!|- I don't have any f***in' money, bro.

- Chiclets! Chiclets!|- I gotta get outta here.

- I gotta take care of my mom.|- Where do you think you're goin; fool?

You know what, Pauly?|F*** you, Pauly!

Don't you f***in'leave.! kiss my ass, man.|You ain't goin'nowhere.

- I got sh*t to do.|- [ Rico Shouting, Indistinct ]

Ow!

- [ screams ]|-Jesus!

[ Pauly ]|A**hole!

Who is Rico suave, fool?|Who is Rico suave, homes? Me!

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