Pauly Shore Is Dead

[ Man ] I don't know what the f*ck|happened. Things just got f*cked up.

No one will f*ckin' call me,|and I'm a big joke. And-And the critics--

Pauly, you don't know|what you're talking about.

You're great. People love you.|You have a following.

- Bio-Dome was a great movie.|- Did you see Jury Duty?

- No.|- Neither did anyone else.

Did you see Hot Shots.!?

[ sighs ]|God, I love that movie.

- Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?|- Yeah.

My-My point is, Pauly, is that|we've all had our flops.

- Mm, some more than others.|- [ sighs ]

But...|it'll turn around.

Well, how'd you do it?

Talent.

Good genes.

I didn't come up with|some weird animal noise. [ Chittering ]

- That's not the point, okay? It's--|- [ knocking ]

- [ sighs ]|- Uh--

Look, I gotta|get back to the set. Uh--

Is there a part|in there for me?

Charlie, is there a part|in your movie for me?

Look, I'll--|I'll talk to the director.

I'll see what I can do.|I'll-I'll tell him you're available.

I'll tell him you're available.

Not for long.

- [ Vacuum Cleaner Humming ]

- [ Murmuring, Indistinct ]

- [ Vacuum Cleaner Continues ]|- [ Continues Murmuring ]

[ Exhales ]|Okay.

- [ Vacuum Cleaner shuts Off]|- Pablo.

Pablo?

[ screaming ]

Topping the news this evening,|actor-comedian Pauly shore was found dead...

in a loft in his mother's|West Hollywood hills home.

- Pauly, best known as the Weasel,|started his career on MTV.|- [ Crying ]

- [ Man Sobbing ]|- He went on to star in such movies|as Encino Man...

- [ sobbing Loudly ]|-Jury Duty and son in Law.

Autopsy reports will be ready|in just a few days.

Many say he was a genius|who died before his time.

- ''Genius''? Genius of what?|- [ Laughs ]

We go to the streets now|to get the public's reaction.

You know, he tried|to sleep with me once... and tape it.

- Me too.|- Did you do it?

[ TV..People Wailing, Crying ]

Pauly shore,|dead at the age of 29.

The kid wasn't f*ckin'|wired right.

Any f*ckin'jackass|could've seen that.

[ Woman Reporter]|All of the community is mourning the death...

- My son! My son!|- of comedic genius Pauly shore.

- An erect penis--|- [ People Wailing, Chattering ]

that's what it would appear|to be underneath the sheet.

A strange turn of events--

[ Pauly Narrating ] I guess it's true|what they say when you die.

You're a lot more loved.|That's probably why I did it.

I was so sick of people|coming up to me every day...

and ask me|what my next movie was.

How was I supposed to explain to my fans|that my shit was tired...

and I had pigeon-holed myself|as the Weasel?

They don't understand|how Hollywood works.

Lenny Bruce,John Belushi|and Sam kinison all went down...

as comedic geniuses|who died before their time.

And now, me, Pauly Shore.

But before the media|blows it out of proportion--

before Access Hollywood|and Jerry springer get ahold of it--

let me tell you the truth|about how I got here.

[ Pauly Narrating ] I was born and raised|in Hollywood, California.

My dad's a comedian,|and my mom owns a comedy club.

And my mom didn't own|just any comedy club.

She owned the world-famous|Comedy Store...

on the Sunset Strip.

The Comedy Store's like|the Emerald City for comedians.

Everyone started out there.|Everyone.

I remember, one time, my mom|even had Sam kinison babysit for me.

[ screeching ]|Ohhhhh!

Yeah, thanks, Mom. I guess Charles Manson|was out of your price range.

The best part|about my mom, though--

she's been partying|her whole life.

Which was great for me, 'cause I was|the first baby born with the munchies.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

- Dude, you forgot to flush.|- Dude, I'm flushin' now, man.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)