Pauly Shore Is Dead Page #4

David, it has nothing|to do with the show, okay?

I just-- I just need to surround myself|with a new team. That's all.

David?

I'm just a little choked-up.

- Pauly, are you sure you don't wanna rethink this?|- I already have.

Okay, then.|Good luck.

- Bye.|- [ Phone Beeps ]

Hey, guys.

Pauly fired us.

He finally fired us!

Yeah! Yeah!

- [ All Cheering ]|- Pauly fired us!

Yeah! Yeah!

Oh, yeah! Yeah!

Whoo!|[ Laughing ]

[ screaming ]

F***!|[ Groaning ]

Watch my head.

Oh, sh*t!

Yeah, well, f*** MTV!

You guys are the only reason why things|are f***ed up for me now anyways.

[ Groans ]|I gotta go to VH1 .

[ Moans ]

[ Pauly Narrating ] So, with|the failed sitcom and no representation...

I wound up where all the other|out-of-work actors wind up in L.A.--

the Coffee Bean.

Or I like to call it--|the Unemployment Bean.

Or in my case,|the ''Has-Bean. '"

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ Zoey Chattering ]

[ Man ] Yes, sir.|That's good too.

- I like this one. It shows your--|- Zoey?

Zoey.

Booger.|What happened?

Forget what happened to me.|What the hell's goin' on here?

A couple of days ago,|I met sal Goldstein at the car wash...

and he's helping me pick out|the right head shot.

I'm also testing for Playboy.|Sal knows Hef.

I don't really know him.|I have a friend who knows someone...

who's been up to the mansion|a couple of times, and he met him once.

- Mm-hmm.|- What's your friend's name?

sal. Nice to meet you.|What's up, bud-dy?

[ Forced Chuckle ] Look, sweetie,|let's just get outta here.

Not now.|I'm in a business meeting.

- But I need you.|- We'll see each other later.

I'm sorry.

F***!

Hey. Pau--|Pauly Shore.

- Pauly.|- F***. What? What?

Um, I know-- This must|bother you people.

I don't mean to bother|you or anything, but--

I'm from Florida.|I'm in a band called Limp Bizkit.

Yeah? Yeah, what?

I was just thinkin',|I got a demo, and maybe--

What happened|to your face, man?

so, what do you want me to do|with your f***in' demo? What?

If you like it, maybe listen to it|and pass it on to the people at MTV.

Is that what you thought? What do I have,|a f***in' sign on my neck that says ''Loser.

I got nothin' goin' on.|My time is yours.'' Huh?

- Well, I--|- In fact-- What's your name?

- Fred.|- Fred, that's a really good name for a rock star.

What is it,|f***in' Fred Flintsone?

- Nah. Uh-- Limp Bizkit.|- Limp Bizkit. Yeah, you guys|are really gonna go far.

What does that mean--|shriveled-up dick?

Huh?

You know, man,|you're a dick.

We're gonna blow up|one of these days, bro...

and I ain't never|puttin' you in a video!

Weasel-ass! Punk-ass!

Who the f***--|F*** you!

F***in' f*ggot.

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