Parrot Sketch Not Included: Twenty Years of Monty Python Page #6

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and your bleeding

masonic handshakes!

You wouldn't let

me join, would you?

You blackballing bastards!

I wouldn't become

a freemason now

if you went down on your lousy,

stinking, purulent knees

and begged me!

We're sorry

you feel like that,

but we did want a block of flats,

nice though the abattoir is.

Oh, pfft the abattoir.

If you could put in

a word for me,

I'd love to be a freemason.

If I was a mason,

I'd sit at the back

and not get in anyone's way.

Thank you.

I've got a second-hand apron.

Thank you.

I nearly got in at Hendon.

Thank you.

I'm sorry about that, gentlemen.

The second architect is a mr. Leavey

of Wymis and Dibble.

Good morning, gentlemen.

This is a scale model

of the block.

There are 28 stories

with 280 modern apartments.

There are three main lifts

and two service lifts.

Access would be

from Dibbingley Road.

Uh, the structure is built on

a central pillar system

with cantilevered floors in

prestressed steel and concrete.

The dividing walls

on each floor section

are fixed with recessed magnalium

flanged groov--

By avoiding wood

and timber derivatives

and all other inflammables,

we've almost totally

removed the risk of...

Quite frankly, I think

the central pillar system

may need strengthening a bit.

Won't the cost rise?

It might.

Well, I don't know

whether I'd worry about

strengthening that much.

They're not meant

to be luxury flats.

I quite agree, provided the

Tenants are of light build

and relatively sedentary.

I think we're on to a winner.

Oh, thank you!

What other ways are there

of recognizing a mason?

Good morning.

I'm sorry to have

kept you waiting,

but I'm afraid my walk has become

rather sillier recently,

so it takes me rather long.

Now, then, what was it again?

Well, sir, I--

I have a silly walk,

and I'd like to obtain

a government grant

to help me develop it.

May I see your silly walk?

Yes, certainly. Yes.

Uh, that's it, is it?

Yes. That's it. Yes.

Mm-hmm.

It's not particularly

silly, is it?

The right leg

isn't silly at all,

and the left leg merely does

a forward aerial half turn

Every alternate step.

With backing, I could

make it very silly.

The very real problem

is one of money.

I'm afraid the ministry

of silly walks

is no longer getting

the support it needs.

You see, there's defence,

social security,

health, housing,

education, silly walks.

They're all supposed

to get the same,

but last year,

the government spent less

On the ministry

of silly walks

than it did on national defence.

Now we get 348 million a year,

which is supposed to be spent

on all our available products.

Coffee?

Yes, please.

Mrs. Two-Lumps, would you bring

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