Parrot Sketch Not Included: Twenty Years of Monty Python

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Good evening.

In the late 1960s,

a comic force emerged

which was so original,

so zany,

so fabulously different,

that many people felt that

the world of entertainment

had been changed forever.

Intelligent, some would

say even intellectual,

yet massively popular.

Subtle, but also simple.

Dangerous, but warm.

Visual, but still

enormously literate.

Big-hearted, generous,

anarchic,

and above all, funny.

Brilliantly funny.

But enough about me.

What about this

Monty Python crowd?

Well, some people

like 'em, I guess.

The pythons--

Undoubtedly one

of the greatest

writer/performer teams

of the 20th century.

Young, talented,

and virile,

and incredibly,

they were British.

Six fantastically gifted,

unforgettable guys--

John, Paul, George, Ringo...

Bob, and...

One other unforgettable guy.

They were tall,

they were beautiful,

they were crazy.

I'm not going to say that bit.

I can't.

Because it's a lie, that's why.

I'll tell you why

I can't say it.

Because its not in my--

I love them.

Over the next hour,

I'm going to be

showing you a selection

of the very best

of Monty Python's work.

Much of it has been

seen before.

In fact, many, many,

many, many times before.

But never in this form.

But first, we have

a little surprise for you.

Some brand-new

Monty Python material

never before seen in this country.

If you've never seen

Monty Python before,

you won't have never seen

anything like this.

Enjoy.

[William Tell overture plays]

Hooray, you've done it!

Well done!

[speaking foreign language]

[moo]

[moo]

[moo]

[moo]

[moo]

[moo]

[speaking foreign language]

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha oh ho!

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Monty Python--

nutty, zany, crazy.

[poot]

Welcome to Munich for

the 27th Silly Olympiad,

an event held traditionally

every 3.7 years,

which this year

has brought competitors

From over four million

different countries.

Here we are at the start

of the first event--

The semi-final

of the 100 yards

for people with no sense

of direction.

I'll present

the competitors--

Lane 1, Kolomowski.

Lane 2, Zatapathique.

Lane 3, Grobovich.

Next to him, Drabbel.

Next to him, Clanades of Spain,

and in the outside lane,

Bormann of Brazil.

[gunshot]

Well, that was fun,

wasn't it?

And now, over to the

other end of the stadium.

We're waiting for the start

of the 1,500 meters

for the deaf.

They're under starter's orders.

[gunshot]

We'll be coming back

the moment there's any action.

Over to the swimming.

You join us at the absurd pool

just in time for the 200 meters

freestyle for non-swimmers.

Watch for the top

Australian champion Ron Barnett

in the second lane.

[blows whistle]

We'll be bringing you back here

the moment they start

fishing the corpses out.

Now over to Hans Kleig for

the marathon for incontinents...

Well, we've got

an enormous entry--

44 competitors from

29 different countries,

all of them with the most

superbly weak bladders.

Not a tight sphincter in sight.

Ready to embark, nevertheless,

on the world's longest race,

and they're just aching to go.

Get set.

[gunshot]

And they're off!

They're off!

Well done.

Back at the 1,500 meters,

and the starter's putting up

a magnificent show.

Get set!

We've had scattered

random fire, fusillade, firing.

We can't get

the buggers moving.

It's enough to make you

chew your own foot off.

We're back with the marathon

for incontinents.

Theres Polinsky in the lead.

Now Aburro has taken over!

There's the runner from France!

Aburro has overtaken him!

There goes Byrd!

There goes Gurney of Austria!

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