My Last 5 Girlfriends Page #4

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- In most cases.

- Was your childhood difficult?

In parts.

Have you ever been truly, truly in love?

It felt like it,

but I think I was deceiving myself.

- So, what's your favourite colour?

- Orange.

Dessert, madam?

What do you think,

the chocolate or caramel?

I just love chocolate, don't you?

I can't understand people

who don't like chocolate.

- That one, please.

- Sir?

Well, it's only

a mild chocolate allergy.

It shouldn't be too much of a problem.

You'll have to give him

something else for Easter.

Perfect.

Did Olive like me any more

because I lied?

I mean, why had I been

attracted to her?

Exactly.

It had nothing to do with her interest

in chocolate or James Joyce.

When I originally told Olive...

- It's all right. I'll drop you home.

- ... it wasn't loaded with significance.

- I better get off then.

- Yeah.

But with a quarter of a mile to go

before Six Liverpool Mews,

it seemed monumental.

At some point, one of us

would have to define the situation.

- But the risks were high.

- What are you doing?

Everything would change.

The end of hidden signs

- and coded speech.

- Have you ever been truly,

truly in love?

But how to go about it.

Maybe I should propose

the metaphorical cup of coffee.

Orjust leap straight in.

In the end, the double chocolate cake

made the decision for me.

It's one of the world's

most extreme rides, the Rhona-coaster.

Highest drops, the most loops.

It's supposed to represent the

two months you spent with Rhona.

Let me tell you, most people

feel sick when they get off.

Why are they in shoes?

As my next girlfriend's influence

spread across my flat,

one thing was clear:

Rhona and I were very different.

And to begin with,

I rather liked each new exotic addition

she added to my life.

But at some point,

we would have to deal with the fact

that our tastes were not the same.

I'm back!

I've got to show you something.

I've got to show you

what I bought today.

I could have bought the whole shop.

They have such amazing things there.

You should have seen

the boots they had.

I'm going to wear them every day.

Don't you just love them?

A fine leather caresses the ankle.

The heel gives a perfect balance

between functionality and style.

This upturned toe

has a remarkable way

of lengthening and flattering the leg.

And I'm loving these pin tucks that

lead you through to this jaunty bow,

making this a beautiful shoe.

Yeah, and you forgot to mention,

they're f***ing horrible!

How could this person,

the person I'd spent three months

feeling so in touch with,

be in such raptures about

the world's most unattractive shoes?

If I'm honest, other differences

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