My Last 5 Girlfriends


Hello, and a very good morning to you.

It's BBC London, 94.9.

- It's me, Jo Good, and Paul Ross.

- May I say,

with the sun shining outside as

it plays across the beautiful buildings,

- you look gorgeous this morning.

- Thank you very much.

- You said a bit of sun.

- My favourite vista ever

is going over Waterloo Bridge.

You see Westminster, Big Ben,

you see the London Eye,

the South Bank.

The great thing is it's better to be on

Waterloo Bridge looking across the river

because Waterloo Bridge is the most

boring bridge apart from London Bridge.

But on Waterloo, you see good things.

Never stay at the Dorchester.

Stay at the cheap place next door

and look down on the Dorchester.

- You save money, get a better view.

- You're so right.

What a lovely city we live in.

Enough of our yakking...

Dear Wendy, Olive,

Rhona, Natalie and Gemma:

I hope you're all very happy.

Did that sound sarcastic?

It was meant to.

What you've collectively done to me...

What you've collectively

done to me is...

What you've collectively done to me

is quite an achievement.

Four years ago, I was happy to believe

in a very simple concept.

You might have heard of it.

It's called love.

But thanks to the five of you,

I now know that love is a lie,

a myth specifically concocted

to bring me as much pain

and misery as possible.


Were you ever really

that interested in me?

Or was I just understudying for Alex

while you and him

went though a dull patch?


Almost everything I told you was a lie.

I'm sorry about that.

Rhona. Who did you think I was?

If I was that wrong for you,

you should have been

paying more attention at the start.


OK, so I got myself out of that one,

but did you really want me?

Orjust someone?

And Gemma.

What should I say to you?

I suppose I should forgive you.

This is a suicide note, after all.

OK, I forgive you.

But I don't want that

to make you feel any better.

I'm sure you'll all find someone.

You might even think you're in love.

But don't kid yourselves.

We're all just playing out scenes

we've seen in films.

The only difference is our stories

have depressing endings.

When real people

walk towards a sunset,

no music swells, no credits roll.

They just get to the end of the beach,

have a row and walk back to the car.

And that's depressing.

In fact, after reading this you might

feel your only option is to join me.

And that's the one thing

I wouldn't blame you for.

Bye, then.


Sorry, but I think my belt

is stuck under your...

Sorry. I thought this seat

felt a bit uncomfortable.

No, that's normal.

That's just economy.

Sorry, that's just what?

Economy. That's just being in...

- It doesn't matter, wasn't very funny.

- No, I get it.

Sorry. I'm a bit slow sometimes.

I'm only in economy because

my firm are such cheapskates.

- Me, too.

- Were you at Graphica?

- Sorry, what?

- At the expo.

You've got no idea

what I'm talking about.

Not really.

Sorry, you must think you've got

lumbered next to a right nutter.

- I promise I'll shut up now.

- No, no, not at all.

What is it? Graphic...?

Graphica. It's just a work thing.

And I just assumed that you were

coming back from it as well.

Which is, of course, ridiculous.

And a little bit arrogant.

I have this tendency to think other

people's lives revolve around mine

so I am gonna stop talking

and leave you in peace.

No, that's quite all right. It's OK.

No, I...

Of all the people I could have sat

next to, I sat next to Wendy.

I couldn't accept that meeting her

on that plane

had merely been a coincidence.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Julian Kemp


All Julian Kemp scripts | Julian Kemp Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "My Last 5 Girlfriends" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 10 Apr. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.