My Beautiful Broken Brain Page #4

I don't know, it becomes

a sort of euphoric notion.

Whether it's my brain or reality,

I can experience colors and sounds

like I wasn't able to before.

-It sounds like a very loud sound.

-[loud noises]

[people talking loudly]

[siren blaring]

So intensified, so exaggerated.

Everything becomes a momentary experience.

Time has a new meaning.

It's all elongated and transient.

You are in this new,

devastating and extremely scary world

that's all yours, by yourself.

[Barney] To find yourself in this world

where... everything's altered,

it's such a...

such a very strange process,

because as far as we can see,

nothing's changed.

Yet it's all changed for her.

[Lotje] Last time I was in my...

my former home, um,

it was an extremely disturbing experience.

-[man] You okay?

-Yeah.

Oh...

Okay.

[exhales]

I can do it...

It is that one. No, this one.

I don't know if I can do it.

I haven't tried it.

-[man] Must be the other one.

-This one?

[man] Mmm-hmm.

There.

Oh, this is so weird!

[Lotje] That's okay. [sighs]

It's like a dream.

Somebody did a very good job tidying.

It's like, um, something that I've, um...

changed completely.

If you see what I mean.

Ugh, I feel so pukey.

Do you feel...

I just remember trying to survive

and I don't even know.

I just... I do actually remember

giving up and not caring.

And not... [stammering]

I just was, like, in a terrible state,

and I didn't know

how I could get out of it.

You're in this weird--

like, weird, parallel-trip thing,

so you can't-- you can't say--

You're trying to explain

why you can't make a phone call

or put some clothes on and sort--

get out of here.

You just remember this weird,

bizarre thing

that just got worse and worse

into this nightmare.

And then I remember crying,

which I never cry,

but being really, really upset,

but not being able to figure out why

and how or any of that.

I just got more and more upset,

more sick, more ill,

and more, like, into this nightmare.

[Lucy] I hated the idea that

she'd gone through this all by herself...

[sighs] ...and just lay down in her bed

and, like, was ready to die.

And then something got her up.

And she did it. She got up. And...

you know, that's how...

That's why she gets up every day

and bumps into a wall

and is reminded of what's going on.

But she just... she does it,

and she keeps going.

[speaking indistinctly]

[Lotje] I haven't lived with my mother

since I was 18.

So, now I'm twent-- [stammers]

Thirty...

four.

So... [chuckling] 34 years old.

Now, we live together.

[Hente] I mean, I've never thought much

about the brain before, at all.

I mean, this is called

"acquired brain injury,"

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