My Beautiful Broken Brain Page #3

A-B-C-D-E-F-G...

[Lotje speaking indistinctly]

No?

-Two?

-[grunts]

[Lotje] This isn't in my

correct dictionary, in my brain.

Stew. [chuckles]

Where did that come from?

-[voice echoes indistinctly]

-My date of birth...

and I wrote it wrong.

Happy... Argh!

Okay, something's not right, here, today.

"Help." [chuckles]

That must have been the first wrote

I wrote other than "hi."

The green one is...

on top of the blue one.

-Correct?

-No.

[Lotje] I can't believe I...

can look at, uh, some words...

-[repeating] Pen. Pen. Pen.

-You know, a book or Internet...

an Internet page,

or someone's written to me an email,

-and I don't see what it says.

-[Lotje speaks indistinctly]

I know what it says.

But it's all-round

complete gobbledygook.

And I can't believe that.

[voice echoing]

[stammering]

I refuse to believe that I...

that's happening.

[Jan] She was an extremely dynamic,

extremely social,

very impassioned individual.

[Ant] She had a really, really tough job,

had to be very, very organized.

Multitasking, loads of things going on

at the same time.

[Anita] That was her existence.

Communication, writing films,

writing in general and reading.

You know, Lotje was always reading,

like, these really thick books.

[Lucy] She's the most articulate person.

So, yeah, it's kind of... [chuckles]

...it's almost obscene

that this part, um...

it's affected that part of her brain.

[woman] So, today.

It starts today, your holiday.

[Jan]

I think it's probably very alienating.

She can't interact

in the same way with people.

She gets fatigued very easily.

Mathematical function

seems to be impaired.

Which is something that

hasn't actually been addressed, really,

at all, up to this stage,

but I've noticed it.

You know, that kind of logistics,

I don't know the technical terms for it,

but, you know, these, sort of

logical things that we take for granted.

A concern I have at this stage is,

because she's so ambitious

and so energetic,

that she puts too much

pressure on herself.

And that pressure ultimately

leads to a situation

where, you know,

she gets meltdown, basically.

[Lotje] If I'm faced with the question,

"Who am I?"

I'm someone who has a huge

amount of friends,

very hard-working,

travels all over the world,

loves to read.

What if all of that evidence is removed?

What does that make me?

Something's happened to my vision,

which nobody's really explained to me yet.

Pretty normal on the left,

as long as I just keep it on the left.

If I go on the right side,

it's like a whole nother dimension.

[voice echoing] Vision to

an internal space, an inner world.

It's a heightened sense of reality.

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