Mrs In-Betweeny Page #3

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Though I've been begging Brian, husband,

to repaint it since the day we moved in.

But, hey, y'know what fellas are like!

Yes. We know what fellas are like, don't we, Hol?

Laters.

Shame their uncle couldn't make it.

You boys ready?

Car pool. All the mummies take a turn.

I'll give you the rota when we

bob round for coffee later.

Well, you can't be too careful.

There's already a paedo moved

in to Albion Avenue.

Coffee?

Today's Thursday.

Don't worry, I've told them not to

descend on you 'till 10.

That should give you enough time

to tidy up and put some lippy on.

Richard and Judy's latest.

We'll be discussing this on Monday.

Confidentially, I think it's a

pretentious pile of s-h-one-t.

Love, light and peace!

Shush now kids, seatbelts.

Everybody ready?

All my mates have had one, even Fiona.

I'm beginning to think

I'm some kind of leper!

You want to be a lesbian?

Not as a going concern.

I thought you'd be pleased.

Pleased?

Every man's fantasy, isn't it?

- Two women going at in the same room?

- Oh, I am. Obviously, well,

I guess l was just thinking more along

the lines of a necklace or something.

Ah. You feel threatened?

No.

That is so sweet!

But you shouldn't, you know.

Think of it as a compliment.

- Compliment?

- I trust you enough

to want to share

my innermost fantasies, Neil.

- What is he?

- A pig.

School Nativity.

- It's September.

- And not even THE pig,

he's the third pig!

- Mummy, can I have some sweets?

- Yes, you can.

These are the last ones, OK?

- One for you and one for you.

- Thank you.

I wrap up bits of carrot.

They think they're chocolates.

So Emma, I wasn't aware

Rebecca or Ben had a sister.

They don't.

And will your husband

be joining you any time soon?

No.

We're separating.

Excuse me.

Yeah, I'm his guardian.

I'll be right over.

Nothing too terrible I hope, Emma?

Kevin's headmaster.

He's been caught

distributing porn around the school.

I don't suppose anyone

could offer me a lift?

Brendan, Brendan, Brendan...

Emma?

Right everybody, look at me. Smile!

Smile. Brendan, stop pouting.

- Oh, you big girl. You poof. Bum boy!

- Shut up, you lot.

Mrs Winslow?

Please.

I'll, err, pray for him.

It's, err...

a penis.

It's been so long since I last saw one.

Did he tell you where he got it from?

No. But, well, it doesn't take a genius

to figure that one out.

- The internet.

- Of course.

Damn thing.

- Damn it indeed, Mrs Winslow.

- Miss.

AKA Emma.

If you're feeling particularly bold.

That's a very nice err...

Kevin...

I'm sorry. If this was

an isolated incident...

- He's been caught selling porn before?

- Not that we know of.

But you are aware of

last month's incident?

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