Mr. Troop Mom Page #3

Spring Action Classic at Hulka's Rock.

Congratulations, girls.

You have worked hard to be here...

...and you have made

your schools proud.

Now, are you ready to have some fun?

Sorry, I thought

this microphone was working.

I said, are you ready to have some fun?

- Where are all the dudes?

- Now, it is my pleasure...

...to introduce you

to the director of activities...

...and host again

to our Spring Action Classic.

The highly decorated commander in chief,

Miss Hulka.

You will be challenged this weekend,

both as a team and as individuals.

The weak among you will be weeded out.

And only one team

will earn the respect...

...the right, and the honor

to be called Hulka's Heroes.

Who will be taking home the

Spring Action Classic trophy this year?

That'd be us.

Will it be the Dragon Flies?

How about them Killer Bees?

- Whatever.

- Or will it be last year's returning champs...

...The Wasps?

Dad.

- What's up, fool?

Hey.

- I'll need you to bring me a few things.

- Okay, write this down.

- Turn it off.

Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

It locked. I'm not sure what the code is.

- Dad.

- It locked. Five...

Shut it off.

Sorry, sir, my bad.

Come on, guys.

- The cabin.

Look at the cabin. Oh, I'm so excited.

Me too, awesome.

Come on, Catalina.

Shotty top bunk.

Where do you think you're going?

- My cabin.

- Isn't this...?

- For the girls.

You're right here.

Right where?

Right here.

- Here you go.

- What's this?

A tent.

- Need help setting it up?

- I beg your pardon?

It's a tent.

Do you need help setting it up?

I been camping since I was 18 months old.

Do you understand?

Soon as they cut my cord,

I was in the woods. I didn't have a bib.

I had a vest with a lot of zippers.

Wipes, binky.

I drank milk out of a canteen.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Thank you very much, but I got it.

- What is your name?

- CC.

Okay, CC, you know what I'm gonna do?

I'll make you a blouse out of tree bark.

- Really?

- Really.

I mean, I've camped a lot. Well, it

wasn't somewhere like this, luxurious.

I mean, it was deep. Deep woods. Frozen.

- You know, baby-verses-nature stuff.

- Right.

Whereabouts do you do

this deep camping?

It was far.

It was over, you know, this ravine.

You had to traverse,

and it was down and across.

No names though.

No towns or no camps.

Just signs that would say:

- Huh.

- Mosquitoes got lost.

They'd just jump on you,

just for a ride back.

Well, gosh, you're a real mountain man.

I just shaved my beard with a rock.

The dull part.

Huh.

Well, it is gonna be something

having you here this weekend, Eddie.

- I appreciate that, thank you.

- Okay.

Oh, when you are set up, Miss Hulka

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