Mr. Troop Mom Page #2

the release forms...

...for the Classic this weekend,

but I'll come back later.

Know what? It's fine.

Come in, Miss Dubinski.

Can you believe those kids?

If I talked to my dad like that, bam!

I'd be in critical condition, life support.

He hit me in 10th grade...

...I woke up senior year, cap and gown...

- Eddie.

- What's the matter?

I think I'm in labor.

You're pregnant? I thought you had

just been hitting the chips too hard.

I'm in labor, Eddie.

My water just broke.

All right. Is there something I can get you?

A towel? A bucket?

Okay, stay calm. Stay calm.

Stay calm. Breathe. I need some help.

Miss D's having a baby.

- Breathe, breathe, breathe.

- Mom.

- Mom, are you okay?

- Yeah.

Sam, call your dad.

Catalina, get some towels.

- She's not having the baby here, are you?

- Oh, God.

Relax, Eddie. I'm not gonna make it to

the hospital, okay? Talk about bad timing.

It gives the floor the just-waxed look.

I'm talking about this weekend.

The girls are gonna be so upset.

Don't worry. I'm sure one of

the other moms can take us.

Kayla's mother is sick and Paulina's

mother is on vacation and...

- What about you, Eddie?

- Me? You're kidding, right?

Do I look like I'm kidding?

No, no, no, I could never do what...

Never do what a mom does.

He can barely do what a dad does.

- What's all that negative?

- Get real. You'd be way out of your league.

- I'll do it.

- No way.

- I'll do it.

- No, as in not even way. No.

Yes, way. You are now looking

at your new Team Mom.

Man. Whatever.

Report to my campsite at 09000 hours.

Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.

This is gonna be so fun.

- Come on.

- I want the back seat.

Harry, this is your big chance.

I'm gonna be gone.

For how long?

- Just a couple of days.

Oh, my God. I'm so excited.

You'll be fine.

Find the fix, my man, find the fix.

Oh, where you going?

Fathers may perform the services

of Team Mom.

However, an adult female chaperone

is required on all out-of-town trips.

Page 11 of manual. Weep it and read.

Weep it and read.

Lot of cases here.

I don't know if I can handle these.

You will be fine.

Eddie?

- I'm a big fan of yours.

There's, like, 30 cases here.

- I will be back before you know it.

Eddie.

- Bye, Harry.

Eddie. Eddie!

- Ah! Hey, you scared me.

- Hello, Eddie.

- Hi, Denise.

- Well, what do you know?

- Just dropping off?

- Yeah... Uh, no.

I'm actually Team Mom this year.

Oh, Eddie.

Oh, you are so funny.

- Where's Mrs. Dubinski?

- She had her baby.

A boy, 50 pounds, 8 ounces.

I know because she had it in my foyer.

Oh, well,

talk about a turn of events, huh?

Let the games begin.

Awkward.

Welcome to the fifth annual

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