Monster-in-Law Page #4

Oh, sh*t!

I-I've been replaced?

I'm so sorry, Viola.

Psst!|I'm fine.

I mean, you've had|an amazing career, Viola.

It's just that we're trying to appeal|to a younger demographic.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

God damn!|Get my manager on the phone!

And then I'm gonna call|the head of the...

Uh, we're on in two minutes.

- Okay.|- Will you get her to come?

- Please!|- Okay, she'll be ready.

I'm ready.

# ... love got jeans|and a tee #

# Am I kinky or sweet? #

- # Take a look inside my makeup bag # |- # Ooh #

# If you wanna love me #

# How good or bad|I can be... #

- Are you okay?|- I'm great.

Hey, I've had|a great run.

I've done exclusives|with Kissinger, the Dalai Lama,

Muhammad Ali...

four sitting presidents...

three of them hit on me.

Five Emmys!

Now I'm being replaced|by a young thing

whose grandmother|loves me.

You know what|I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna finish out|my contract

and I'm gonna leave this show|with my dignity intact.

Okay, coming back|from commercial.

Three, cue announcer.

Today on "Public Intimacy,"

pop singing sensation|Tanya Murphy.

And now we're live|with Viola Fields.

Four, three, two...

Well, that was|very nice.

My goodness, you have a big voice|for such a tiny girl.

You're gonna miss|Viola Fields.

Have you always|been a singer?

Ever since I was|a child.

I would sing|in school plays, choirs.

- How old are you?|- I'll be 17 next month.

W-what do you do for fun?

I love watching|really old movies.

- They're my favorite.|- Really? Really, which ones?

Well, "Grease"|and "Grease II."

Um, "Benji."|I love "Benji."

"Free Willy," um...

"Legally Blonde,"

"The Little Mermaid."

- Oh.|- Yeah... oh, I know.

You ever read|a newspaper?

Newspaper?

Viola, the girl|has stars on her nipples.

I don't have|much time for that.

So basically, you have absolutely|no idea what's going on in the world?

- Oh, l...|- And yet, you've sold

over five million albums... CDs,|to millions of kids

- who listen to your insipid lyrics.|- What is she doing?

"You want to know me,|look in my makeup bag."

You're influencing|an entire generation of kids

who won't know how|to think straight,

or vote for a president,

or remember the significance|of Roe versus Wade.

Oh! I don't support|boxing as a sport.

I think|it's too violent.

Y'all better get that|little girl out of there.

- Holy crap!|- Get us off the air!

- Quick!|- Go to commercial! Go to commercial!

Crazy b*tch!|Get off me!

- Cut! Cut! Put in the Bow Flex tape!|- Get her off!

Juice Man, something!

Oh, I don't support|boxing as a sport.

I think|it's too violent.

Oh.

I wanted you to take one last look|at the old Viola.

Oh, thank God|I've changed.

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