Monster-in-Law Page #3

Give me one good reason.

'Cause I'm different.

Really?

Okay, what color|are my eyes?

Well, at first glance,|your eyes are brown.

But when the light hits them|they change to amber.

And if you look really closely around the|iris the color is pure honey.

But when you look|into the sun

they almost look green.

That's my favorite.

How did I do?

I would've settled|for brown.

- Okay!|- Peanut, let go!

Off! Off!

I'm sorry he bit you.

I mean, they all have their shots|so it should be fine.

Seriously, don't worry about it.|It barely broke the skin.

- Outside.|- Did you just move in or something?

No, I've been here|a year and a half.

Oh, nice place.

I should have some hydrogen peroxide|around here somewhere.

What is all this stuff?

Oh, I'm a yoga instructor.

- This?|- And a Little League coach.

And a dog walker|and a caterer.

I told you I'm a temp.

That is not true.|She is an incredibly talented artist.

- Remy! Remy!|- I mean, look at her sketchbook.

- She hides it right under there.|- Remy!

What?

He's not...

- Are you all right?|- Yeah. Yeah, thank you.

Found it!

So you're an artist, too?

Uh, I like to dabble|in a lot of different things.

I mean, life's too short|to live the same day twice, right?

Yeah. That's a good|philosophy to live by.

My dad always used|to say that. Come on.

- Used to?|- Oh, yeah,

- my parents died when I was little.|- Oh, I'm sorry.

That's okay.|It was a really long time ago.

- You ready?|- Yeah... I mean,

it's a little embarrassing.|I'm the doctor.

I'm the one who's supposed|to look at the... ah! Ow!

- Oh my God. I'm sorry!|- I'm just kidding.

I never get to do that.

Okay, because the cut is,|like, three inches higher.

Sorry.

- Do you need my phone?|- Oh, no thanks.

It's just my mom. And it's only|her second page of the day.

She's just getting started.

- Well, you're all set.|- Thank you.

So, do you think, uh...

we could do this again sometime,|maybe without the biting?

Yeah, that would be nice.

- Heard from Kevin yet?|- Not yet. I've paged him.

Would you page|him again?

- Good morning, Stan.|- Good morning.

- You're in a good mood.|- The last time the network executives

came to my dressing room|I got my own show and a big fat raise.

- Yeah and I had to start kissing your...|- Viola Fields? Oh my God!

It is such an honor|to meet you.

Oh thank you, darling.

Would you mind|just signing this autograph?

For my grandmother.

I'd love to.

You know what else|I'd love?

I'd love you to get me a latte.|Do you mind?

- Okay.|- Thanks, hon.

Hi, guys.|How are you?

That woman is a legend.

Shouldn't you be|getting the latte?

I just can't believe|they picked me to replace her.

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