Monster-in-Law

Synopsis: After years of looking for Mr. Right, Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini finally finds the man of her dreams, Kevin Fields, only to discover that his mother, Viola, is the woman of her nightmares. A recently fired news anchor who is afraid she will lose her son the way she has just lost her career, Viola determines to scare off her son's new fiancé by becoming the world's worst mother-in-law. While Viola's long-time assistant Ruby does her best to help Viola execute her crazy schemes, Charlie decides to fight back and the gloves come off as the two women battle it out to see just who is the alpha-female.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Robert Luketic
Production: New Line Cinema
  1 win & 10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.5
Metacritic:
31
Rotten Tomatoes:
17%
PG-13
Year:
2005
101 min
$82,820,167
Website
646 Views


# You thought you had|found a good girl #

# One to love you|and give you the world #

# Now you find|that you've been misused #

# Talk to me,|I'll do what you choose #

# I want you to #

# Tell Mama #

# All about it #

# Tell Mama #

# What you need #

# Tell Mama #

# What you want #

# And I'll make everything|all right #

# That girl you had|didn't have no sense #

# She wasn't worth|all the time that you spent #

# She had another man|throw you outdoors #

# Now the same man|is wearing your clothes #

# I want you|to tell Mama #

# Tell Mama #

# What you want #

# And I'll make everything|all right... #

Hi, it's Charlie.|Leave a message.

Hi, Charlie. It's Carol|from the LA Temp Agency.

Listen, Dr. Batel's office needs you|for tomorrow. Is that okay?

Let me know. Bye.

Good morning, neighbor.

Hey.|Help yourself.

Oh, thanks.|I was out of everything.

Aw, why do I even bother?

You know, Remy, I gave you|that key for emergencies.

Extreme emergencies.

It was.|I needed caffeine.

I don't know.|This is good. I'd even wear it.

Good, 'cause I've got to go.|I'm late for my first client.

But you stay,|have breakfast, take a shower.

Go through my drawers.

# Tell Mama #

# All about it #

# Tell Mama #

# What you want #

# Tell Mama... #

- Hey, Charlie.|- Morning.

- Are the boys ready?|- Dragon! Zorro!

Hey!|There are my boys.

Come on. Yay.

- See you later!|- Bye!

- Be good, boys!|- Whoa! Slow down!

# Tell Mama|all about it #

# Tell Mama|what you need... #

"Romance is in the air today.

No one can resist|your obvious charms."

Well, Otis, your horoscope|seems accurate.

Stop it.|Come on.

Let's read mine.|Okay.

"Do not leave your house today."|Too late.

"And stop looking so hard.|Love is right in front of you."

Hey.|What's wrong?

I ordered a nonfat latte.|I can taste the fat.

I would be happy|to change it for you, sir.

Can't you even make a friggin' cup|of coffee? I can taste the fat.

How hard it is to make|a friggin' cup of coffee?

I can make another one|for you if you'd like. I'd be happy

- to exchange it for you, sir.|- Hello? It's okay.

- You've done enough, thanks.|- I'm sorry.

Karma.

- Have a good one.|- Thanks, girl!

- Oh, sorry.|- Oh, I'm sorry.

Hi.

Hi.

I don't know how|to read tarot cards.

- Why am I in the cards?|- Come on, just try.

Okay, well, this crazy old lady|keeps coming up.

The knight|in shining armor.

- Mmm! That's mine.|- No no no. What?

- I saw this guy twice today.|- That guy?

Two times in one day.|That's got to be a sign, right?

Mm, a sign.

Yeah, okay. What did he say|when you talked to him?

I didn't talk to him.

Well, are you sure|he saw you?

Yeah!|I mean, I think so.

Okay, honey,|we're worried about you

because you're turning|into a little bit of a freak.

Yeah, we think|it's from not having sex.

- Exactly.|- Look, just because...

I haven't been in|a relationship in a while

doesn't mean|I'm miserable.

I just want a sweet guy,

you know, a guy|who's strong but still...

...opens a door|once in a while.

And who notices|things and...

you know, maybe|makes a difference.

Maybe he completes you.

Oh.

You complete me.

Oh, sorry.

Dr. Batel's office.|Hi, Mrs. Reynolds.

- Go to Grandma's, tell her|I'll be home late.

- I still have stitches to do...|- Yeah, can you please hold?

I'll see you|at home.

You know what? You go ahead.|I can do that for you.

- Oh thank you, Charlie. You're a doll.|- No problem.

Hey, George.

- How're you doing, Charlie?|- Good.

- What do you got there?|- The doctor asked me

to bring it from home.

Whew! Okay!

All right. The doctor|will be right with you.

# I said "Leap into|my arms, babe" #

- Thank you.|- # Come on, dive into the stove... #

We're here!

Thank God|you guys are here.

I am down two girls|tonight. Here.

- Sorry, that's all I got left.|- Sweet.

Wow. You know, I love that I am|now comfortable enough with my sexuality

- to wear something like this, you know?|- Looks good on you.

- Hey, what's up?|- Take off the apron now.

- Sorry.|- Where do we start?

Okay, uh, hand out|these shrimp balls.

There has got to be|a better name for those.

- I don't think it's that bad of a name.|- What's wrong with the name?

# I said, I say,|sometimes we look back... #

- Oh my God, that's him.|- Whoa! Who? Who?

The guy I ran into.|He's here.

- Where?|- What?

That is three times in two days.|What are the chances of that?

- Um, like, none.|- That's Dr. Fields.

This is his party. He just moved|back from San Francisco.

- Really?|- Yeah.

Well, you're right.|He is hot.

# Flirting|with disaster #

# You're the one|I'm after #

# I think I've found|my destiny #

# I can fly #

# On the wings|of my heart #

# Deep inside #

# I've been falling apart #

# L-l-love #

# There's a magic in you #

# And I'll be #

- # Under your spell... # |- Here's the best part.

The guy then goes|into cardiac arrest,

Kevin performs CPR|on the guy,

saves his life again.

God.|Disgusting, isn't he?

No, you are amazing.

Yeah.

Excuse me?

W-wait wait wait.|What do we have there?

Oh, um, balls.

Uh, shrimp balls.

Um, shrimp in...

...balls.

I'm sorry,

but we're not really|into fish genitalia.

Yeah, okay.

Was she really listening|to our conversation?

Excuse me.

Wait a second.

Um, so I know two things|about you... you work in catering,

and you have a lot of dogs.

Oh, that... no.

Uh, I'm a dog walker.

I'm not some crazy dog-lady|with 12,000 dogs.

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Anya Kochoff

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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