
Monster-in-Law
# You thought you had|found a good girl #
# One to love you|and give you the world #
# Now you find|that you've been misused #
# Talk to me,|I'll do what you choose #
# I want you to #
# Tell Mama #
# All about it #
# Tell Mama #
# What you need #
# Tell Mama #
# What you want #
# And I'll make everything|all right #
# That girl you had|didn't have no sense #
# She wasn't worth|all the time that you spent #
# She had another man|throw you outdoors #
# Now the same man|is wearing your clothes #
# I want you|to tell Mama #
# Tell Mama #
# What you want #
# And I'll make everything|all right... #
Hi, it's Charlie.|Leave a message.
Hi, Charlie. It's Carol|from the LA Temp Agency.
Listen, Dr. Batel's office needs you|for tomorrow. Is that okay?
Let me know. Bye.
Good morning, neighbor.
Hey.|Help yourself.
Oh, thanks.|I was out of everything.
Aw, why do I even bother?
You know, Remy, I gave you|that key for emergencies.
Extreme emergencies.
It was.|I needed caffeine.
I don't know.|This is good. I'd even wear it.
Good, 'cause I've got to go.|I'm late for my first client.
But you stay,|have breakfast, take a shower.
Go through my drawers.
# Tell Mama #
# All about it #
# Tell Mama #
# What you want #
# Tell Mama... #
- Hey, Charlie.|- Morning.
- Are the boys ready?|- Dragon! Zorro!
Hey!|There are my boys.
Come on. Yay.
- See you later!|- Bye!
- Be good, boys!|- Whoa! Slow down!
# Tell Mama|all about it #
# Tell Mama|what you need... #
"Romance is in the air today.
No one can resist|your obvious charms."
Well, Otis, your horoscope|seems accurate.
Stop it.|Come on.
Let's read mine.|Okay.
"Do not leave your house today."|Too late.
"And stop looking so hard.|Love is right in front of you."
Hey.|What's wrong?
I ordered a nonfat latte.|I can taste the fat.
I would be happy|to change it for you, sir.
Can't you even make a friggin' cup|of coffee? I can taste the fat.
How hard it is to make|a friggin' cup of coffee?
I can make another one|for you if you'd like. I'd be happy
- to exchange it for you, sir.|- Hello? It's okay.
- You've done enough, thanks.|- I'm sorry.
Karma.
- Have a good one.|- Thanks, girl!
- Oh, sorry.|- Oh, I'm sorry.
Hi.
Hi.
I don't know how|to read tarot cards.
- Why am I in the cards?|- Come on, just try.
Okay, well, this crazy old lady|keeps coming up.
The knight|in shining armor.
- Mmm! That's mine.|- No no no. What?
- I saw this guy twice today.|- That guy?
Two times in one day.|That's got to be a sign, right?
Mm, a sign.
Yeah, okay. What did he say|when you talked to him?
I didn't talk to him.
Well, are you sure|he saw you?
Yeah!|I mean, I think so.
Okay, honey,|we're worried about you
because you're turning|into a little bit of a freak.
Yeah, we think|it's from not having sex.
- Exactly.|- Look, just because...
I haven't been in|a relationship in a while
doesn't mean|I'm miserable.
I just want a sweet guy,
you know, a guy|who's strong but still...
...opens a door|once in a while.
And who notices|things and...
you know, maybe|makes a difference.
Maybe he completes you.
Oh.
You complete me.
Oh, sorry.
Dr. Batel's office.|Hi, Mrs. Reynolds.
- Go to Grandma's, tell her|I'll be home late.
- I still have stitches to do...|- Yeah, can you please hold?
I'll see you|at home.
You know what? You go ahead.|I can do that for you.
- Oh thank you, Charlie. You're a doll.|- No problem.
Hey, George.
- How're you doing, Charlie?|- Good.
- What do you got there?|- The doctor asked me
to bring it from home.
Whew! Okay!
All right. The doctor|will be right with you.
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"Monster-in-Law" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 25 Sep. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/monster-in-law_14009>.
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