Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous Page #4

---

- Listen, I watched the pageant...

- I bet you did, Regis.

Every year, actually. It's embarrassing.

My favorite part was the women's

self-defense thing, you know?

Could you give us an encore?

Actually, I don't do that anymore.

I have someone who does it for me.

So, if I could, I'd like to bring out

a little friend of mine, Agent Sam Fuller...

...who will be helping us

with the demonstration.

Here she is.

So, Regis, if we could have you

come over to the mat.

Fuller.

Stand right here

with Fuller in front of you.

- All right, Regis, grab her.

- She looks angry.

- Do I have to grab her?

- Go ahead. She has no place else to be.

All right, ladies, if you'll please remember,

the word is "SING." Solar plexus...

...instep...

...nose...

...and groin.

- Not the groin! No!

Very nice. Thank you, Agent Fuller.

Come on, Regis, let's get you up.

Thanks, Gracie. And as a special treat

for knocking my husband around...

...I have a little surprise for you.

I think you know these people.

Here's Cheryl Frazier, Miss United States,

and Stan Fields, host of the pageant.

It's you!

- I love your lipstick.

- You do? Stila made it for me.

- They named it after me. It's called Gracie.

- That makes sense.

- You did something to your hair.

- Just a couple of highlights.

- A couple?

- Okay, okay...

...Miss I'll-Never-Grow-My-Bangs-Out-

Because-It'll-Make-My-Face-Too-Long.

I feel we should all be sitting

under dryers.

That's what happens

when best friends get together.

Wish we could have invited my best friend,

Roger Coleman...

...but he got hit

by a Goodwill truck last week.

Really?

Don't we have a commercial coming up?

Please.

- It's so good to see you.

- It's so good to see you. L...

Gracie, I'm sorry to interrupt.

We have another taping.

Oh, Cheryl, Joel Myers, my stylist.

Miss United States, such a joy to meet you.

This is my hair assistant, Janine.

- A pleasure.

- And on makeup and bass guitar, Pam.

- Your Majesty.

- And you're having a bad crown day.

Excuse me, private conversation

in progress.

- Ticktock.

- Okay.

I'm sorry I haven't called in a while.

Don't apologize. We'll have plenty of time

to talk once I'm de-queened.

- Oh, that sounds painful.

- Oh, I really miss you.

- And Eric.

- Oh, well...

...actually Eric and I

aren't Eric and I anymore.

- What? Since when?

- Oh, just 10 months.

- Ten months?

- Yeah, I didn't wanna bother you.

You're busy, I'm busy. I didn't wanna call

and say, "We broke up. " It's no big deal.

Miss Hart? My daughter

would love your John Hancock.

- What's her name?

- Lauren.

Lauren.

So, what happened?

Oh, I just had to end it because

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote