Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous


Hart, can you get me

Miss Arizona's number?

- Why would I do that, Clonsky?

- Because she needs a man in her life.

Yeah? Where do you fit in?

- Nice. Nice talk. Not too congenial, Hart.

- Yeah.

It says right here

you're supposed to be real amiable.

That's three weeks ago.

I've been amiable since then...

...and now I just

wanna hit somebody.

Well, this could be your chance, Hart.

Okay, let's go over this one more time.

The Housewives...

...they knocked off nine banks in a month

and wounded two guards.

We got a tip this bank is their next target.

So stay frosty. Keep your heads up.

You know you can't wear a swimsuit

on this mission, right, Hart?

That's good.

- What happened to world peace?

- It comes and goes.

Control to Big Mama.

Check your baby.

Hey, honey.

- Control, this is Big Mama. Confirm.

- Confirm, Big Mama. Proceed on in.

- Big Daddy and Big Mama are inside.

- Copy that.

I hope we wrap this early.

I have Yankee tickets tonight.

What are you up to?

Just basic paperwork, and then

I got company coming over for dinner...

...so I just need to do a little...

A little defrosting.

- Oh, your boyfriend Eric's coming over?

- He's not my boyfriend. Just...

We're just friends, you know? Friends

and coworkers. Friendly coworkers.

Hey, you ever been to the Poconos?

Where is that? What is that,

New York? Pennsylvania?

You think it'd be hard

to get a reservation there?

What, for you and your coworker?

- That's so sweet, two agents in love.

- Yeah.

So I guess this is a good time to tell you

that this is not your baby.

Housewives, front door. Housewives.

How old?

- Thirty-five.

- No, the baby. Can I take a peek?

No, get lost, lady.

We haven't changed his diaper in a week.

You're that Miss Congeniality lady.

No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I saw you on TV

on the Miss United States pageant.

No, ma'am. Ma'am, you did not.

- You're Gracie Hart!

- Ma'am, no. Ma'am, please...

- Gracie Hart?

- Gracie Hart?

- Gracie Hart!

- No, I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!

- She's FBI!

- I'm not!

- It's a setup!

- Okay, nobody move! Nobody move!

Nobody's moving. Ma'am, please be...

Please be quiet! Get down!

Nobody's moving.

- Get down, please! Please, get down!

- Down, I said. Down!

Nobody's moving. It's okay.

Ma'am, get down! Get down!

We've got a hostage situation.

We need backup. Now!

- We gotta move, ladies!

- Okay. Okay, it's okay.

Get your hand out of the purse, Hart.

You too, hubby, get your hands up

where I can see them.

Tell me where every other agent is

in this bank.



There's one in the baby carriage.

- Freeze, FBI!

- FBI, freeze!

Put the gun down!

Put the guns down!

- Take her. Take...

- Got her.

Clonsky, where are you hit?

Where are you hit?

- In the vest. I'm...

- Where?

I'm all right. I'm all right.

- Oh, my God.

- It hurt like a mother.

I know.

But I got something that's gonna

make you feel a lot better.

Here we go, 602-555-0199.

What's that?

Miss Arizona's number.

- You couldn't tell me earlier?

- No.

- What do we got?

- I'm okay.

Excuse me.

Would you mind?

Hart! Hart!

- Sorry, sir.

- Let's not make a bad day worse.


...about the bank,

I don't know what happened.

It was like my high school reunion,

except these people liked me.

Well, I think we can all agree

it didn't go according to plan.

But I wanna talk to you

about something else.

This is some fan mail we've gotten

for you since the pageant.

Letters, cards, chocolates.

I'll take the chocolates.

"Dear Miss Hart,

I saw you on the pageant...

...and the next night

Rate this script:(3.00 / 1 vote)

Marc Lawrence

Marc Lawrence (born Max Goldsmith, February 17, 1910 – November 28, 2005) was an American character actor who specialized in underworld types. He has also been credited as F. A. Foss, Marc Laurence and Marc C. Lawrence. more…

All Marc Lawrence scripts | Marc Lawrence Scripts

FAVORITE (1 fan)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Oct. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/miss_congeniality_2:_armed_and_fabulous_13841>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.