Miss Congeniality Page #4

...to have access to

all the areas at all times.

-Absolutely not.

-Miss Morningside...

...we understand how important

this beauty pageant--

Excuse me.

This is not a beauty pageant.

This is a scholarship program.

And it has been ever since my reign.

I fully intend on maintaining

that credo.

Absolutely, Miss Morningside.

We're here to protect the girls.

Women.

Scholarship ladies.

There's nothing more important to me

than the safety of my girls.

I'd rather cancel the pageant

than have them blown up.

Especially without their knowledge.

We went to the network to cancel,

but they refused.

We can't force them.

I'm confused.

What state is she going to be from?.

All the winners have been chosen.

We recently discovered some

information about Miss New Jersey.

And her performance in a little

film called Arma Get It On.

Was that her?.

Oh, yeah!

She was gonna drop out pretty soon,

if you know what I mean.

Do you have an agent in mind?.

Sorry.

Let me get you

Victor Melling's number.

Frank.

He's our pageant consultant.

Frank.

Maybe he can do something to help.

Frank!

This is my assistant, Frank T obin.

Hi, everyone.

Would you get these people

Victor's number, please?.

And get me a spring water.

And tuck in your shirt.

That, that was...a water for you...

...and....

Victor Melling's number.

Mr. Melling.

How are you?

If you are Grace Hart,

I quit here and now.

I'm having a bad hair day.

Bad hair decade, really.

I'm Eric Matthews. We spoke.

Your hair is perfect.

However, I can't accept this job.

There's no way I can make

this woman ready in two days.

Please, Mr. Melling,

give it a chance. Sit down.

Have lunch. T otally on the Bureau.

I suppose that would be

the civilized thing to do.

I'll take a rain check.

I got to take care of some FBl stuff.

That thing I told you

about that I gotta do.

But I'll see you later.

We'll hang out. You like caps?.

I'll get you an official FBl cap.

See you later.

What a pity.

-Are you hungry?.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

It is always "yes, "

never "yeah. " Sit down.

Miss United States is always

well-spoken and polite.

Do you understand?

Watch the hands, garcon.

-Excuse me.

-It's all right.

I have a feeling we're going to need

a drop cloth later.

Could I have another

cabernet sauvignon?.

Another keg for you?.

-l' m good, thanks.

-That's okay, Philip.

So, how long have you been doing

this pageant-training thing?.

I'm sorry?

What was the question?. I was

distracted by a half-masticated cow...

... rolling around

in your wide-open trap.

Excuse me? What is your problem?

-Problem?.

-Yeah.

I mean, yes.

Have I offended you in some way?.

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