Millions Page #4

Do you ever come across

a Saint Maureen?

- Ques?

- Saint Maureen. She's new.

Quat facki abat?

Skin care. She worked on

the make-up counter at Selfridges.

Sel-frid-ges?

To betal?

Est a quero publican rodeo.

It's less than a fortnight to E-day.

That's when

Britain completes transition

to the European Monitory Union.

The EMU.

Oh with twelve days left to E-day,

my true love said to me.

The transitional exchange rate

is fixed at sixty seven p.

Oh! Well all I can say is...

ding dong

After E-day your old money

will no longer be legal tender.

Wish pounds goodbye and euros...

Hello.

We don't have to queue up.

Here we go.

How much have you actually got?

Plenty.

- Anthony Cunningham.

- Where's your dad?

My dad? Well he's not coming.

Eh?

Yeah, he's not coming yet.

He said to start without him.

Start what without him?

The job is to show him

around the apartment.

How can I do that,

if he isn't here?

He gave me this.

Show me around and

I'll fill him in afterwards.

It's what we usually do.

We're looking at this for our

investment portfolio.

Not as a residence.

Has it kept it's value?

It's gone up twenty percent

in the last two years,

because of the schools.

He does send you to school doesn't he?

Or do you just

look at photos of them?

Flood lights. Scoreboards. Stadium.

It's the dogs bollocks this,

family heirloom. Fifty quid?

Fifty quid?

You could buy

a proper football team for that.

I could buy Crewe Alexander for that.

Yeah but...

this has got managers.

Dan Leavy and Malcolm Allinson

Never heard of him.

Deal.

You said you would for five quid.

I didn't know you were going

to get five quid did I?

Ten quid then?

Look, I've got a good body.

Twenty quid, last offer.

Martyrs of Uganda,

eighteen eighty one?

That's right.

Ohhhh sorry about that.

I was beheaded. See.

Before that I was in construction.

I don't know who built this,

but they were a right cowboy.

I built it myself.

Well, you'll see what we can do.

But I can't promise anything.

Why not?

There's plenty of you.

Yes, come on welcome.

Hello.

What are they singing?

They are praying for rain.

Where I come from...

people have to pay a tenth

of their daily income on water.

It's so expensive that they can't

afford to wash their hands.

So they get disease.

You don't need fancy hospitals

or medicines to make life better,

just a well.

And you...

can build a well for as

little as one hundred pounds.

That's fantastic!

Thanks.

I'm sorry I don't know who you are.

Mutual that then.

This yours?

Nice.

Near a railway.

- What's in there?

- Nothing really.

- What's this?

- A dress. It was my mums.

What are you looking for?

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