Meet The Spartans Page #4

Beat my record.

- (grunts)

- (shrieks)

Captain.

My king.

Have you assembled

my army who are ready...

to fight to the death

for the freedom of Sparta?

Yes, King.

I wanted 300.

This seems like... less.

These were the only men

who met with your stringent...

specifications.

"Hunky with deep

Mediterranean tans...

"hot bods..."

and, uh...

Yes?

"...well endowed."

SPARTANS:
Haawoo! Haawoo!

Haawoo!

Ready to fight for you, my king!

Never give up!

Never surrender!

To infinity and beyond!

CAPTAIN:

He has a lot of heart, my king.

And nice man b*obs.

Indeed.

These men will do.

You are a fine captain, Captain.

But a better friend...

there is none.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mm-hm.

Damn!

He's got a huge package.

I brought you some fudge.

Mom said that you like to pack it.

She's a good woman.

Good-bye, Father.

(sighs):
Farewell, my son.

(Leonidas clears throat)

Introductions?

King Leonidas,

this is my son, Sonio.

My king.

Why is he not fighting?

Well, he is not a warrior.

And he's my only son...

destined to carry on my name.

What do you think?

Yummy.

Work it, sister.

I think he's fierce.

(rap beat plays)

# Come and give it 2 me #

#You know you want my body,

need my body #

# Show me them goodies... #

And if you don't like it...

you can kiss my fat ass!

(smacks)

Ooh!

Oh!

#... Watchin' your curves #

#Thinking of words, baby #

# My vision is blurred... #

Congratulations, Sonio.

You're now on your way

to becoming Sparta's...

(whispering):
next top warrior!

#... right where my mind is #

# Gimme your goody

and your body #

# Uh! Come and give it 2 me #

#You know you want my body,

need my body #

# Show me them goodies #

#You're gonna love my body,

touch my body... #

QUEEN MARGO:
Spartan!

(sighs):
My child...

I shall never forget you.

You are so small now...

but one day you will grow

to be big and strong...

like your father.

That's not your son.

You a**hole.

Take care of your mother.

Stay tough, Son.

Come back with your shield...

or on it.

And if I come back on it,

I want you to move on.

I would never.

Hell, if you died,

I'd play the field.

To be honest...

I've always wanted

to do a fat chick.

(gentle theme plays)

##

The men are ready, my king.

Good. We'll head south

to the Hot Gates...

where we'll intercept

the Persian army.

Where are you going?

The oracle said if we went

to war, we'd be screwed.

The oracle also said that

our painted-on abs look fake.

But I beg to differ.

(spray nozzle hissing)

(giggling)

Give the order, Captain.

- (keypad beeping)

- Spartans! In formation!

OTHERS:
Ah-ooh!

(whispering) Spartans heading south.

Move out!

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