Matinee Idol Page #5

- I got it, it's right here.

- Oh!

- Well, I guess we are going to have

to make him hard again.

Ready?

- Ms. Hands, sirs.

(horns blowing)

- You two talk, I'm going down

to the Nazi sex slave

company to see how they

are doing.

Nice to see you again Linda.

- Nice seeing you Mr. Cox.

- I love him like a brother, but I

sure wish he'd see my tailor.

- Bernie, darling...

What this studio needs is a...

Big, fresh, new cock.

Attached to a nice, easy-going, and

easy to get along with young man.

- And as the sun slowly sinks over the

Western horizon we say a

not so fond farewell to Lance Hardy.

What's his name?

- Bud Cochran, well actually it's

Longstreet Cochran.

- Some screen writer made that up.

- No it's for real.

- It's too good to be true, uh, ok.

Have him here tomorrow morning.

We'll shoot a test.

- Bernie, darling! Mwah!

I know you're really going to be

impressed with him.

- Ah Linda baby, if only I wasn't

happily married to Bertha

these 28 years.

- Morning Phil.

- Ah, Linda. One of the hundred

reasons I love you so much

is you're always on time.

- Oh, so tell me another 50

or 60 reasons.

- Linda, my dear, if all my stars

were as easy to work with

as you are my life would be

so much better.

- Thanks Phil.

- Is, uh, this the new star?

- Oh Bud, this is Phil Parker.

Now he's directed all of my pictures

and he's the very best.

- Phil, this is Bud Cochran.

- How do you do?

- How you doing.

- Now I want you to remember that

name. He's going to be very big.

Of course he's already pretty big.

But what I mean to say is that

he is going to be well known.

Oh and Phil, I just want to tell

you how much I appreciate

you doing Bud's screen test.

Who's he working with?

- Ah, you, Ms. uh, come over here

I want to introduce you.

Linda, Bud this is, uh, what's your

name?

- Daisy, Daisy Cheney.

- Ah, Daisy, this is Ms. Hand.

- Oh, Ms. Hand, I've seen all your

pictures. You give the greatest head.

- Well thank you.

- And this is Bud Cochran. You'll be

working with Bud today.

- Ooh, he's cute!

- Well I'm going to leave the three

of you to your movie making magic.

- Marker.

- Ok, now try not to act too nervous

now.

Ok look right in the lens.

Ok now look back at me.

And action!

(slow piano music)

(moaning)

(jazz music)

- Well Harvey what do you think?

I say we let him play the lead

with Linda in our next picture.

- Yes, yes please say yes.

- We still have the unfinished

Matinee Idol to deal with.

We've got to honor our commitments

to our distributors.

And deliver them a Lance Hardy,

Linda Hand film.

- You mean a Linda Hand, Lance Hardy

film? Don't you Mr. Cox?

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